Constantly trying to get my girlfriend to eat (possible TW)

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by undercoverlover, Mar 25, 2013.

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  1. undercoverlover

    undercoverlover Well-Known Member

    i was on the phone until 1 in the morning yesterday, trying to convince my girlfriend to eat, listening to her sob at the thought of it. telling her i didnt want her to die, to starve herself, to lose all the energy that she so dearly needs. i gave her so many reasons to keep eating, to keep living, and she ate. but every time she does it, she feels guilty. she thinks that eating will only make her fatter.
    i love her so much. i cant let her do this to herself. she is slowly killing herself by restricting this basic human need and it hurts to hear her sob and cry over the thought of doing something she needs to do.
    she is diagnosed with PTSD and depression, but doesnt see a therapist or take meds because her mom wont let her. shes not at the age yet where she can control her medical decisions, and her mom is not very good about it. even the suicide attempt didnt wake her up. i called the police but her mom got mad at her--and me.
    i dont know what to do. my mom was a victim of anorexia and i dont want to see it happen to my girlfriend too.
     
  2. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    That it is very tough situation to be in right now and it must be very fustrating knowing your girlfriend is starving herself. Have you asked her why she is starving herself, is there anything happening in her personal life that has made her feel like this? I would urge she speak to gp as she may have a possible eating disorder and needs help. Also make sure she lets her cmht know what she is going through that way they can monitor her weight loss/vital signs. good luck
     
  3. undercoverlover

    undercoverlover Well-Known Member

    she is starving herself because she thinks that once she is thin, she will stop having to deal with day to day harassment from peers. she thinks it will solve all her problems when starving will only make it worse.
    im afraid i dont know what gp or cmht is, could you explain further?
     
  4. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    Gp is general practitioner or MD in america . He/she is main port of call for help/advice or health issues.
    The CMHT or community mental health team is the main team that deals with mental health issues in the community, the service ranges from talking therapies to occupational therapy and crisis teams. Basically each service user/patient is assigned a care-cordinator to keep an eye on the patient. CMHT can also make referrals to psych units/in patient units and acute mh units.

    The job of the cmht is to keep you safe.
     
  5. svm299

    svm299 Member

    Is she in School? If she speaks to a school counselor they can order her parents to give her medical care. It was done for me. If she is have her speak with a school counselor about her parental situation and that she knows she needs help with this. Her mother may be angry in the beginning but if she really cares she will see in the long run it was needed. I think it is very kind of you to care so much about helping her and to be a support system. Just remember you can't fix the whole problem. Where there is a will there is a way. She can get medical attention if she can push herself to push for it. Easier said than done I know. I hate situations like this because they are made harder than they need to be and for that I'm sorry. Please don't give up and keep pushing.
     
  6. undercoverlover

    undercoverlover Well-Known Member

    I told her to tell her doctor next time she is in, but she rarely gets to go. I'll also be sending her a package full of food for her to eat so she wont have to leave her room to get it (which is one of the main reasons, seeing as she doesnt like being near her family and doesnt like any of the food they buy either)
    her school counselor doesnt attend to the students like she should, but i will be sending her a letter telling her everything thats going on with my girlfriend. i was going to do a phone call but my mom said a letter is harder for them to ignore. hopefully she wont have to put up with all this much longer.
    i told her to keep holding on until she is 18, only a few more years, and she'll be able to make her own decisions medically. that its worth holding on and she deserves the help. but in the meantime, she needs to take care of herself and eat.
     
  7. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    I am not sure if it's the same where you are from but when she reaches sixteen in the uk she can make her own decision about what she does medically to herself unless the pyschs can prove otherwise.
     
  8. undercoverlover

    undercoverlover Well-Known Member

    In the US she has to wait until she is 18 to make those decisions. until then, her mom is in charge of all medical decisions.
     
  9. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    the best thing you can do is give her space but at the same look out for her personal safety like if she feels dizzy then make sure she has something in bag for just case she needs it and give her time to rest. if she looks dizzy then make sure shes sitting/laying down and away from stairs objects etc.
     
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