Hi, I've had something that's really decimating my life for the past 10+ years and I've never really found anything that helps so thought I'd post this. For anyone who doesn't know a negative symptom is something that removes something from you (such as energy, motivation, interest) meanwhile a positive symptom adds something (such as hallucinations, illusions). I've had Schizophrenia since I was 8, it's been hell dealing with it especially when I grew up without any form of support whatsoever. I'm now 25, and I have medication that treats the hallucinations, so that's ok most of the time. What's not ok is that I can't function in society because at some point I'll have a lot of motivation, but then it slips away, and comes back, and slips away - I'm talking over the course of months. So anytime I try and commit to something-- work, study, relationships. I can't. Any initial motivation I had hits the ground and I lose whatever I commit to. It's kind of like a wave, rather than a spike. Just comes and goes and always has. The bottom line is that I'm so sick of it that it makes me want to scream and gouge my own eyes out. I want to be able to wake up and go to work, I want to be able to find a job and be enthusiastic about it rather than doing everything half-hearted because part of me just isn't there anymore. I get nowhere. I'm 25 and I've never had a job, I've studied for 2 years and barely made it. Right now I'm just trying to find a job making coffee but I don't know if I can handle it, employers notice right away that I don't have motivation, energy, enthusiasm. The moment they meet me, it's over. Then there's the other end of the spectrum, I can't have relationships with anyone, can't form real connections, it always just turns into some pathetic form of obsession. So, so, very over it. Can anyone give me some advice? I have a psychiatrist and a therapist (whom I see weekly), I'm on antidepressants, but none of it's getting me anywhere!