Crohn's, eye pain, heart problems, and recently severe dehydration

[Aurelia]

I usually have constipation so they put me on a bunch of laxatives (4 of them). I took them for 3 months and then suddenly became so severely dehydrated that I started getting heart symptoms like pounding, flutters, skips, etc. I can barely sleep. I can barely eat and drink right now.

And then there's my eye pain. I think I have ocular dystonia because I have involuntary eye movements, eye pain, and involuntary blinking. I can't focus my eyes to the point that I can't do things like read or watch TV. I'm on Klonopin to help with the involuntary movements but sometimes it makes it better and sometimes worse. Sometimes it also makes my throat feel dry like it's closing or causes even move involuntary movements and then I have no choice but to just tolerate it. I've been suffering with this for weeks. An antipsychotic caused this. I've had 3 ocular crises and they may have damaged my eyes permanently. Sometimes I feel like I'd rather be blind than deal with the pain.

I'm in the hospital on a heart monitor and fluids right now. They're saving my life at the moment. If I was at home I would probably have a severe heart episode from dehydration and not eating enough.

I'm still scared I'm going to die soon once I get home and something else goes wrong. I've been praying daily many times a day. I don't want to die. But if the Lord says it's my time to go then it's my time to go. I just am trying so hard to survive in the meantime because I know I have to. Please pray for me. I've been on this forum since 2011 and @Freya and @Walker have known me since forever. I love you all. I just wanted to tell everyone what's happening while I'm still relatively stable in case I do die soon. But I refuse to ever commit suicide despite all I'm going through. My last message to you all (hopefully not THE last) is to do the same. Have faith and hope and do not commit suicide even if you're in as much pain and have as many physical problems as I do.

 

[may71]

I'm sorry this is happening, it's awful. I hope something can help and things can get better soon.

Sending good prayers for you and also hugs if you would like hugs.

 

[Aurelia]

Update:

I'm out of the hospital after about 8 days. It took 5 days of IV fluids to get my hydration levels back to what they called normal. When I came in, I was so severely dehydrated, I could barely stand at that point. Thankfully, that seems to have gotten better. During the hospital stay, I was off any laxatives (obviously, because they would only make me lose more fluids), but then I developed another problem and couldn't produce a bowel movement. So I went from severe diarrhea to severe constipation and what they said was an "ileus" from my catscan. This is when the bowels have stopped moving completely, similar to an intestinal obstruction, but usually a little easier to treat. Still, nothing was moving for a while so I couldn't eat or drink for a few days. I was on NPO (nothing by mouth) and only on IV fluids to keep stable. Once I left the hospital, the ileus seemed to improve. I have been able to tolerate solid food and drink fluids now for 3-4 days. Though, I'm still trying to be very careful with what I eat because I'm still constipated and my small intestine is very inflamed from my Crohn's disease. I had to use a saline enema at home to go after 5 days of no bowel movements. They gave me corticosteroids (prednisone) to hopefully improve the inflammation quickly so that I can eat without severe pain, bloating, and gas. And so that hopefully it prevents another reoccurrence of an ileus or obstruction. I see the GI doctor tomorrow. Hopefully, she will help. I have been through a lot with my Crohn's recently between severe inflammation, constipation/diarrhea, an ileus (twice in the past few weeks), constant low electrolyte levels due to the Crohn's, and a recent obstruction only a couple months ago.

As for my eyes, they still hurt once in a while, but the pain is somewhat controlled by the medication I'm on for spasms and involuntary movements. Some days seem to be better and some worse. I'm hoping to see an eye doctor soon.

The cardiologist said my heart symptoms were also probably due to my GI issues, but I am trying to follow up with an outpatient cardiologist anyway. When I am resting or asleep, I become bradycardic. My pulse seems drop to as low as 35 at times. But he said my heart was otherwise normal, thanks be to God.

Unfortunately, through all of this, I have also developed some sort of cold or flu virus. My throat has been sore and irritated, and I've had a mild fever and some coughing. The medications I'm on for my Crohn's unfortunately suppress my immune system, making infections easier to get and harder to fight. But for right now, they are necessary.

I'm having trouble sleeping the past few days, and last night I got no sleep at all. I've had several episodes of sleep paralysis and demonic nightmares. I pray often during these dreams and The Lord always wakes me from them afterward. This is definitely what I have understood to be spiritual warfare, all this sickness and suffering as of late. But God is fighting my battles for me and giving me strength to keep fighting also. Blessed be our mighty God. He is faithful and righteous, and He literally saved my life recently when I was severely dehydrated. If it continued, I truly might have died, and I was in a psych hospital inpatient at the time when it started and nothing was being done about it (they didn't know about it and weren't treating it, but The Lord helped me get discharged from there before it got worse). I literally thought I was going to die many times, if not from one illness, then from another. I didn't think I'd make it even to today. But it seems He is telling me that it's not my time to go yet, and to keep fighting this evil. We are all fighting some kind of spiritual warfare, I think, but it also often happens to those who believe in God and have chosen to accept Christ as their Savior because evil wants us to stray from God. But that will never happen, no matter how much I am suffering. I know He will uphold me and not let that happen.

 

[Angie]

I am so sorry you are going through this.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.