This is my first post here, and I apologize, but it will be long. I am here because one of my roommates recently has been feeling suicidal. There are three of us and we all deal with depression on some level. We all met over the internet. I'll refer to them as "A" and "S". S and I took A under our wing because she was feeling suicidal from being in a toxic living situation with her family, and her family never helped her to get the assistance she needed. Maybe it was silly, but we paid for her to move in with us from states away. From there we learned the severity of her condition, as her mother mentally abused her, when she gets upset she curls up and doesn't talk to us and it takes us sometimes hours trying to talk to her to get her out of it. She also has very poor problem solving skills, which may be a side effect of her depression or the "learning disability" her school claimed she had, but was never diagnosed. She's been here two years, and was actually doing better for a while, especially after getting a job. However, she recently lost her job. We were trying to get her to make applications to get a new job, but she would literally do nothing. Finally she cracked one day saying she felt like we only valued her if she had a job, which we promptly denied, because that's not true. On top of that, it was close to her birthday. So her depression took a tumble into self-harm and suicidal thoughts territory. We set up a doctor appointment for her, but she can't get in until the 11th, so she's claimed that she "won't last that long." S and I are stuck in a very frustrating spot, because A is becoming more and more withdrawn and will get sucked into being on the computer all the time. If we try to pull her away from it, she will get short and snap "leave me alone!" or swear. We've tried to take away the laptop she's using to get her to not withdraw so much, but she'll throw a fit over it (it's not even her laptop...) and of course start feeling suicidal again. I understand that the internet can be a distraction from those feelings, but it scares me that she places having internet as a priority over her friends who are trying to help her. She won't do anything productive. No household chores, nothing to creatively release her feelings (she mentions wanting to DO art, but never does), she will refuse to go out when S and I go out to eat, and then she'll get upset because there's "nothing to eat" at home (there is, she just doesn't want to settle for it). She just mostly stays in bed and focuses on the internet, which just isn't healthy... There's a lot of tension, especially between S and A because they share a room. S gave up half of her room to make space for A, but A gets upset that she has no real personal space (though it was worse for her back with her family, she was literally sleeping on the couch). S is also very social and will try to prod A into responding to her. But A will try to ignore her and things just escalate until S also falls into depression, thinking that A doesn't care about anything but herself, and that if we died, A wouldn't really care, and then SHE starts feeling suicidal. A won't respond to anything at that point. I try to help as I can, but I'm not perfect, and after two years of this stuff, my patience has been running thin. When A is feeling suicidal, S and I do try our best to be supportive. We tell her we love her, we remind her that we do things for her because we care. We tell her if we didn't care, we wouldn't be trying to work with her. We point out what we like about her. We tell her we like her physical traits too. We tell her it'll get better and that we'll be there for her and she can talk to us anytime. We remind her that we're not like her family. We remind her that we've also gone through and deal with similar feelings so we do understand what she's going through. We try and try to be encouraging, but she gets so lost in despair. We're the closest people to her, but she won't really listen to us... On her birthday we had to work really hard to just get her out of the house to go eat. It took us literally two hours to get her dressed and willing to go. We went to a restaurant she liked, gave her gifts, and she enjoyed that. But then she wanted to go to a night club (I think mostly she just wanted to get drunk, which I don't think is a good idea in her condition), but both S and I had to work the next morning and we didn't have the money to buy a lot of drinks. And from there she just crumpled and whined about how it wasn't fair because it was HER birthday and we shouldn't have to work on HER birthday and she knew she shouldn't have gone out because there wasn't enough time to do anything (which we mentioned part of that was because it took 2 hours to get her out of the house). And alksjfihlkj. We worked so hard to get her to go out. While we felt like she wasn't very grateful, I think it would've been much worse if she didn't go out at all. In anycase, I'm at a loss of how to deal with the intensified selfish behavior she's been exhibiting with the increased depression and her refusal to listen to us. S and I keep thinking that we may have to send her back to her family, because our incomes alone aren't enough to support all three of us. But we don't WANT to do that. But then her behavior is very hard to live with, so we get stuck and frustrated. There's only so much we can do to help and it seems like this is beyond our capabilities. I really want to hold on at least until she can get medical attention, though she thinks it can't help her, S and I know from experience that it can make a difference. We're hoping that from there, if she can stabilize enough, she might be able to decide for herself what she wants to do. But I don't know what to do in the meantime? How much should we give in to her? Should we be upset that she never gives in to us sometimes? Should we limit her computer access? Or are there times that she really should have it? How can we get her to not withdraw so much? Is that even feasible at this time? How can we encourage her to be productive? How much do we have to lead her VS treat her like a child? How much should she be responsible for? How much should WE be responsible for? This is bringing us all down. Sorry again for the long post, but I'd really like to hear some feedback and opinions/advice from people dealing with similar issues/situations. Thank you for your time.