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Death of my 27year old husband

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by Akaur, Mar 6, 2018.

  1. Akaur

    Akaur Member

    My husband died few days back due to cardiac arrest.he was only 27.we were in relationship from past 9years and married since 3yrs.We eloped to marry each other.we loved each other so much i can't describe in words.Now he is no more in this world,i also want to die to be with him forever.but i couldn't do so as he left me with our one year old baby.I know my baby is my responsibility but i am unable to pass a single day without him.Each day i wake up with a thought to suicide but i don't as the concern of my baby overcome me.I don't know what to do.i just hate myself .
  2. Walker

    Walker Everything Zen Staff Member Safety & Support SF Social Media SF Supporter

    Hi there. I'm really sorry to hear about your husband. That must have been a huge shock to you for him to have passed away at such a young age. That's a terrible loss to you and your baby. There's not a whole lot one can say to make you feel better in this case. Stick around and keep talking, ok? I'm glad you found your way here. Take care of yourself.
    AlexiMarie7 likes this.
  3. Winter Blues

    Winter Blues SF Supporter

    Dear Amauri, no words that I can write here will begin to take away your pain and grief, but please know that you are in my heart and thoughts and if you ever want to talk more .. we’re all here . Stay strong for your little one and someday you will be able to tell them what a wonderful man their father was and how much you were in love. It will mean the world to the baby. Xxx
  4. gypsylee

    gypsylee SF Supporter

    Hi @Akaur and welcome

    How awful for you. You can always come here for support if you need it.
  5. AlexiMarie7

    AlexiMarie7 Staff Alumni

    My condolences. I truly can't imagine how hard it has been for you.

    I'm glad that your baby keeps you going even when you have those thoughts.

    You will also be the one to be able to have your husband's memory and legacy live on by telling your child about him as he/she goes along. With time the memories and sharing them will become less painful.

    Are you able to perhaps seek out a few sessions with a therapist to help you through the stages of grieving?
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hello there, I am so deeply sorry to hear about your husbands passing. Your child needs you now more than ever, as previously stated in this thread please do seek psychiatric help and advice and grieve in a safe way, I know it's so easy to say and do hard to do but think of what your husband would want for you. You need this help, please seek it.
    Winter Blues likes this.
  7. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear that you are going through this

    The pain of losing someone is always at it's most intense soon after losing them.

    You may want to take antidepressants, at least as long as you are feeling suicidal

    There's some more things I could recommend, but I'd like to check to see what kind of support would help the most. Recommendations aren't always the thing that someone needs the most.

    Did you feel this way before you met him?
  8. Akaur

    Akaur Member

    I'm taking spiritual counselling but what they tell me doesn't satisfy me at all.I am filled with so much guilt of not being able to save my husband and not being present around him from past 25days before he died.I only wants to hear back from him but its not happening,i just want an assurance that one day he will meet me again and i will be forever with him in another world.But what others told me put me more into grief that he would have taken birth somewhere else.You won't get him as your lover ever again.he had a part to play here ,when it got completed his soul left his body.my question is aren't we soulmates?aren't Our soul bound to be together forever?he left me in such a small age,i just can't imagine my life without him.
  9. Akaur

    Akaur Member

    Yes i used to hate my life before i met him
  10. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    I don't think that this was your fault. I'm not sure there was anything that you could have done that would have prevented this.

    I think the love that you gave him probably made him much happier than he otherwise would have been. There's no reason for you to feel guilty, since you gave him so much love.

    I think that the people that you are talking to may have good intentions, but do they really have direct knowledge of such things, or are they simply parroting a religious ideology?

    I don't think that you are under any obligation to believe what these people have told you.

    Many people here say that they have dreams of seeing their loved ones again. You may want to try meditating on seeing him in your dreams each night before you go to bed. I think if you do this, it's very likely that you will see him again in a dream.

    Also, your child is a flesh-and-blood embodiment of him, you, and your love for each other. Loving your child is in a way also loving him. You will probably see aspects that remind you of him in your child as your child grows.

    As painful as it is to have lost him, you probably don't wish that you had never met him. In time, the pain and grief of his loss can be replaced with a joy and gratitude that you found him.
  11. Akaur

    Akaur Member

    Your words are healer to me but still i am all drown in my grief.thanks for replying.
  12. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    You're welcome! :)

    I'm glad to help even a little, I just wish I could help more.
    Akaur likes this.
  13. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I am sorry for the pain you feel, but very glad you are upholding your responsibility to your baby, who deserves to hear you tell them about their father as they get older and to come to know who their father was through you. The pain is awful and may seem unbearable, but it is not. The pain exists and is so strong because the love was real and meaningful. How much sadder if it did not hurt and you were to quickly to forget which would mean these lasts years were so much less. I am not wishing the pain on you, and I hope that it is replaced gradually over time with the warmth of loving memories when you think of him- that day will come- though not not any time soon, and like anything we love that is no more there will always be sadness at it being gone-- but how much less and even more sad your life would be if the person had never been in your life?

    I know these words do not help now- I hope a day will come when the pain is not as constant or intense, but it is okay to grieve for now and I hope you find some comforts to lessen the pain until the grief is more bearable. Until then, instead of focusing on tomorrow's without try to think of the days you were with him. If you are thinking of the future think of the baby you are left with that is also a part of him, and the memories to share with the baby- and he will never be actually gone from your heart and your world.
    Akaur likes this.
  14. Akaur

    Akaur Member

    Thanks a lot.whatever u say makes sense to me.i understand what u are trying to say me.but still i feel everyday that i should die.the moment i see other couple happy around me i miss him badly why god destined me for this.my husband is so good from heart.he never talks bad about other even if other did wrong to him.we three were so happy together.what was my child's fault.why god has taken away his father ?i left everyone just to be with Him.i wished for nothing except him.why god has snatched somebody From he who was my soul?i am living life of a dead,a person whose soul is not with her.its really hard for me to pass a single hour without him.
  15. Cato

    Cato Member

    I am so sorry for your loss.....My husband died at the age of 30 in a traffic accident. Life has been hard ever since that horrible moment. My thoughts are with you and I hope you can get through this horrible grief proces.... Sending you warmth en light from Europe. Be safe and try to be kind towards yourself. Grieving is really hard work.
    Akaur, may71 and Supernova like this.
  16. LonelyHiker

    LonelyHiker Waitering for Godot

    (((((Akaur)))) I am deeply sorry for your loss!
    Akaur and may71 like this.