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Empathy Only Death wish

So so tired

Well-Known Member
#1
Hi everyone

I crave death
This life is not for me
I really tried without a doubt but the inner demons won out.
The sadness I feel cannot heal and life will never feel real.
I just want to be happy, that's all I ask but this seems impossible to grasp.

Grief and loss spin their Web of despair. Everything I love became everything I lost.
Amongst this is my self identity and so my life has become like a walk in the dark or dragging my tired and weary body through a storm.

I don't feel I can recover and this is sad. Professionals try to help but lack the true insights to how their patients feel.
My Dr said that I could ring a helpline as they gave me a gentle tap on the shoulder advising I take care!
Caring but perhaps not helpful.
Having gone through a multitude of medications in the past, I still remain in this dark hole of water with only my head exposed.
They say depression comes in waves but I just seem to be in rough water 100% of the time and tredding water to stay afloat.
It is good to have a platform such as sf and I thank staff for their hard work, dedication and time that allows us to talk with others that do understand.
I have made some nice contacts recently to whom I feel a connection but my worry as with anyone on here (given the nature of the site) that people may take their own life including myself.
I just wanted to vent. Thank you for reading
So so tired *hug*hug
 

extraterrestrialone

hi, guess who... its me...
SF Supporter
#3
Professionals try to help but lack the true insights to how their patients feel.
hi @So so tired , i often feel very much the same. your feelings are shared. i have not taken lots of meds though. i just wrote to my therapist this morning explaining how doctors and therapists don’t really try to understand what goes on in a particular person’s mind (my mind) and how they feel. i think they rely on what they’ve learned in text books but for one reason or another do not do what is necessary to have a better understanding of what is going on in the patient’s real time life. there are differences.

for myself, i’ve become kind of resigned. i won’t take my own life - certainly not by suicide. but i do have that feeling of lets get this thing finished already! still for myself i do see a real me who might become actualized. wondering if that may be in you too. there are many steps and many obstacles though. so i wonder if anything is achievable. could there be someone in you who needs some kind of facilitation and if so could lead to making positive changes in your life?
 

MosesY

Functioning Alcoholic
SF Supporter
#4
I know your pain, I have gone through that. I wish I could find a psychiatrist or therapist who really cares about me but I don't believe that happens. They have to distance themselves from my problems so they can sleep at night; this calls for a distance between themselves and the patients. The patient is treated as an object, a curiosity. I wish I could be there to comfort you; I would make you a cup of tea, wrap you in a warm blanket, and we would talk about your problems.
 

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