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Death

Hopegone

Active Member
#1
I watched my father die a few days ago. My brother seems to have no feeling about it. I don’t know how to react. I don’t know what’s worse, the death, or his reaction. I did not have a great relationship with my father, but he was my father. I just need to put this somewhere.
 

nobodyknows71

For a Phoenix to rise, it must first burn.
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#2
Hi @Hopegone everyone has different ways of coping when you lose someone. Your brother maybe in shock, denial or just not ready to be emotional yet. Give him time, I hope you can help each other through this.

I’m sorry for your loss.
 

Hopegone

Active Member
#3
I don’t think he has the capacity for emotion. I’ve heard that people react differently, and I think I get that. This isn’t that. I tried to get him there when I knew time was short. He took a pic of him the day before he died and said he would take another at the wake. Sorry if this doesn’t make sense, I guess my reaction is to drown this all in alcohol. I just don’t get it. I’m tired of this. The 3rd this year. Bullshit. Why do we even exist?? Just so we can die and have others watch us die?
 

Unknown_111

Forum Buddy
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#4
Im sorry for yoyr loss. Please keep posting here as we care about you and will help you get through the following days. Take care of yourself.
 

Hopegone

Active Member
#5
Saw dad for the last time. Still nothing from my brother. He’s always been different, but the past few months I have seen more. I think he’s always been this way, was just better at hiding it. We were and are dysfunctional as a family. All of us, parents and the rest of the siblings. I just don’t want to deal with this in addition to. I wish it was quiet.
 

Walker

Everything Zen
Staff member
ADMIN
SF Social Media
SF Supporter
#6
Hello. I'm really sorry to hear about your dad. Sounds like you've got some funky family dynamics. Conflicted. Are you ok? I mean, you're here posting so likely not that great.
 

Claus

SF Nintendo enthusiast
#8
Hey, so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and your family.
The loss of a parent is unimaginable, but your brother may be grieving in his own way. Some people just react differently to trauma/grief than others. Who knows, maybe in private he's melting down. He might just be good at keeping it inside. If it's worst-come-to-worst, then I'd say maybe he has an issue with empathy and feeling for others, but perhaps it's just him masking everything. Trying to be strong maybe.
Anyways, back to you...
You don't need to have a good relationship with whomever to have the feelings you are having. It's only natural you feel as you do. After all, it was your father who passed. From what you've typed in your responses it seems to be more than just your father this year...and to that I am very sorry as well. Hang in there. Alcohol and other things of that sort are not good coping mechanisms for grief or anything for that matter. It will only make the feelings worse ultimately. You have to face them and deal with them in your own time. I'm not saying it's going to be easy, but it's not something you have to do alone. I hope you can reach out to someone in real life, or even on here to help you cope with your losses. You are not alone.
We don't exist to die, and watch others die...but the reason we exist is very vague to me as well. I don't think it's that cruel though. Something I saw someone write is that "God (or Fate) has a plan for us", and I honestly like to believe that. It's hard to see sometimes, but I like to think it's there.
Take care, alright? Feel free to make another post or message someone if you need to talk. My inbox is open :)
 

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