I have been deeply depressed over the last few months. So much so that my girlfriend ended up leaving me. She said I pushed her away. Shes right, I did. I love her soooo much. I never got the chance to tell her, until she had already left. She didnt live with me, but she was here most of the time. She helped me decorate my apartment. We were dating when I moved in I cant sleep in my bed, I cant hardly sleep. When I do sleep its in the living room. Also she picked up her things on valentines day. She was the only person who knew me and accepted me for who I am. Until I started getting depressed about a month ago. I dont know anyone around here. Im a few hours away from all my friends and family. I feel so alone right now. Ive been crying since she left. That was a week ago. I feel so helpless and useless. It doesnt help I dont have a job and Im not in school right now. I hate this depression. When it shows up it rapes my life. Stealing all my friends and putting me in a blackhole. Im just so tired of feeling this way. Im beginning to feel suicidal again. I dont know what to do. Im 32. I thought I would learn to deal with this by now. But when it comes, its as if Im a different person. I need help.