Depressed in regards to painful past

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by sadhart, Oct 24, 2014.

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  1. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    All week, I've watched people, especially at work be social. Socializing is something I struggle with and even when I try to do so, I suck at it. It seems so natural for other people that i see. But what has gotten me writing this topic right now is that I'm reminded of a rejection I experienced from a girl a few years ago. I've talked about it on here every now and again, but for whatever reason, it still hurts after all this time. I understand that i wasn't good enough to be worth getting to know by her, but she said certain things that made me question myself as a man and a personin general. I know that sounds really dramatic but yeah, that's how much it still hurts. It's at a point where I don't even really know if I want to try to build towards a better social life. What's the point, when it seems I'm not good enough.

    Anyway, sorry for rambling like this. I wasn't sure where to put this. i was gonna put it in the crisis forum, but this isn't really a crisis....just an ongoing thing in relation to being depressed everyday.
     
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I have read your posts for about 3 years now. I am sorry that things are so painful for you still sadhart, but the amount of empathy and caring in your tone and words now is so different. I am sorry that the years of depression and isolation have resulted in things being so difficult for you now but honestly much of the awkwardness in social settings is simply lack of practice. After years of being alone it takes practice to feel comfortable and it is something that everybody has a difference tolerance for even in the best of circumstances which you were not fortunate enough to have had.

    If you have changed as much in real life in the past year as you have on here I cannot help but believe things will get easier and better for you. Whatever her reasons were for not wanting to get to know you better back then really does not matter- I see such a different person in you now then years ago. Everybody changes over time anyway, but with all the effort you have put into trying to change things for yourself you are really a different person. I hope you soon get the opportunity to show somebody meaningful the person you have become through work and effort on your part. I am sorry for not really having any real advice, but just wanted to say that the difference is noticeable and your efforts are not useless at all. You certainly deserve some good things to happen for you and have done your part and I believe that you will get there and find somebody and find contentment and happiness. That is all because of your efforts, not something anybody else did for you. I hope it happens sooner rather than later for you because you deserve to have your efforts rewarded.
     
  3. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    Thank you NY...it isn't easy for me to see the differences in myself all the time, but aside from you, other people have said similar things. I will try to hold on to those words you and others have said and not take them for granted.
     
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