Depressing creeping back in...

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by ThoseEmptyWalls, Jun 20, 2008.

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  1. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    Today I mustered up the nerve to clean off my scales and hop on them. When I saw that screen flashing my weight I said out loud 'OH MY GOSH' and I just felt like I was about to pass out. When I stopped my diet because of starting medication again- the scales changed from then to now a whopping 17 pounds extra. That didnt help my depressed feeling any.. I hate my new doctor. Shes a good doctor dont get me wrong but she wont listen to a dang thing I tell her. Its like talking to a brick wall that just happens to talk back but at you instead of to you. Im meeting my new therapist next week (if all goes well) and Im not looking forward to that. Im just certain that I will hate her too. I feel I have said all that I have to say to doctors, therapists, mental health workers, social workers, and everyone else whos involved in my minds care.. I dont want to sit down in a new therapists office and go over life again. I dont want to say 'Yes I was abused..Yes I used drugs..Yeapper I use to drink.." all that stuff that they always ask... I dont want to go into deep dark relationship trouble details and tell her how much I hate myself for not wanting (or giving for that matter) my husband sex..I dont want to tell her I feel like a total waiste of human life and precious space on this earth..I JUST DONT!!! Uggh.. Sorry about this post. I realize I was gone for a long time but I needed to say that.
     
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I know what you mean about those scales. I quit checking mine because I can't beleive how much I have gained. I went from 230lbs. to 316 lbs. I don't know if it's the meds or what. I have tried to diet, well that didn't work. I think I lost a whole 6lbs. while dieting. I just couldn't get the hang of eating less and more often .They say seven times aday. In my book I will just add more weight to my self for eating so much. I have already bought new clothes twice so I don't have to squeeze in to the ones I was wearing. Now I need to go from 2x to 3x so my belly isn't hanging out from the bottom. Everyone is worried I am going to get diabetic if I don't do something soon. oh well I hope this finds you well!!!:chopper:
     
  3. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member


    I have always been a little big but its got crazy. When I started medications for mental problems I was 13 and was around 150/160 pound now Im 22 and at 267.4 pounds.. I was down to 250 until I started this medication and dropped the diet.. I dont blame he medication but it probably does have something to do with it.. Its just so hard to loose weight when you barely have enough energy to finish the house work let alone do any extra work... Uggh :(
     
  4. innocencexisxlove

    innocencexisxlove Well-Known Member

    Maybe, you could try doing a type of house workout. Like, make it more fun, and excersiseing to clean house, and get the work done. Maybe then you could loose a few pounds, while having fun AND getting work done.

    -Rachel
    :hug:
     
  5. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    I try that but it doesnt seem to work out. I need some motiviation to move around..I love to turn the music up and jam out while Im doing the house work but I cant really do that. My three year old son screams the musics to loud or he cries for the channel to be changed or the music turned off so he can watch his cartoons.. I swear unless hes not here (and his dads not home either)I dont get a moment to myself.
     
  6. innocencexisxlove

    innocencexisxlove Well-Known Member

    Try getting him into dancing and jamming with you. Find a station you both enjoy, and maybe he can help you, make it a sort of bonding thing, while still having fun.
     
  7. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    Thank you for the tips but it just doesnt work.. He likes to jam and dance too but only if my eyes are on him and Im holding his hands dancing with him.. He loves to do house work too but he undoes everything his father and I manage to do if we let him help..He spends a lot of time with my mom and my dad..Also my moms husband..And they spoil him rotten..I know a lot of people wont make the connection there but Im around the child all the time so I can see it.
     
  8. innocencexisxlove

    innocencexisxlove Well-Known Member

    Ah.. I see I see.. Sounds tough :unsure:

    Well, I wish you best of luck! I know it can't be easy.

    :hug:
    -Rachel
     
  9. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    I just feel stuck... I never get any damn time alone unless its five minutes while my husband takes our son to the local store for a ice cream. I feel like pulling out my hair sometimes.
     
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