depression and belonging

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by morning rush, Jun 10, 2014.

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  1. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I think depression has to do with belonging. That's why cults and religions are so popular, they make you belong and when you belong you feel like you're on top of the world. But when you don't, you get depressed.
  2. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    i think i know what you mean- but explain some more?
  3. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    morning rush, yes, I think belonging can be very important to our sense of well-being.

    To me, a cult coerces people into doing things...belonging depends on doing what they want. Legitimate religions offer a sense of community, but don't force it on people.

    Other ways to belong that don't involve religion include volunteering to help people or a cause, or joining groups that share a common interest. Participation is voluntary and people are not looked down on if they choose not to do things. Participation is up to the individual and the sense of belonging evolves naturally.
  4. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    When you're depressed I guess you feel disconnected from e world, from friends. You see people in the street going about their business unable to relate to that happiness or existence wondering why they don't share your woes. You can go to the pub with friends and not be able to connect because of that cloud over you, reaching out is impossible.

    I guess cults even religion (though not categorising them in the same group before someone jumps on that! :hand: ) they give that hope sometimes belonging they fuel that part of you that wants to belong to have an identity. It's both dangerous in the case of a cult, but I guess religion it's empowering although not religious myself.
  5. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    while it's not related as such, what i really hate is when people say oh, hey emily. do you know?. today i'm going to go to a concert, and i'm going to meet the band backstage, sing to all the songs, dance in the arena, then go out for dinner with everyone, and while i'm their i'm going to.... well, you get the picture!. i hate when people rub in to me how great their lives are.

    hmm, now i think about the subject of belonging and depression, i think you're right.

    i mean in my case, it's made me shy and frightened to talk to people, but only because i'm shoved aside by everyone and i'm not important, compared to say someone in my exact same situation. their's usually some excuse why they get more help than me anyway, but something stupid like this person is more important to society, or they want to live.
  6. islandification

    islandification Well-Known Member

    know exactly what you mean, people talking about some great event or activity, knowing that you would be interested and enjoy it but not thinking that you are worth including. Very often several mutual friends will be invited though. Its almost as if these people can sense your loneliness and isolation and then act in exactly the way that increases it.

    These are usually the same people that smile and seem so friendly when you meet them alone, but when in a group they greet everyone else while snubbing you. Or don't speak at all to you unless it's sarcastic criticism. With "friends" like this who needs enemies?
  7. islandification

    islandification Well-Known Member

    About the topic, cults and religions. I mentioned elsewhere my mother's suicide, and its effects on my life and my sister's. She joined a group that many people consider a cult, and said it helped her to deal with this event, and in most ways she is happier and better adjusted than I am. I went to one of their meetings and it sounded like pseudo-scientific nonsense. To each their own path I guess.
  8. JV3

    JV3 Well-Known Member

    That's horrible. People like that are so hollow that the only way they can feel good about themselves is to try and subtly hurt others. Those kinds of people are just social black holes.
  9. JV3

    JV3 Well-Known Member

    I was replying to those friends you were talking about, btw. Not your sisters group.
  10. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    ummm regarding religion (although please don't let this put anyone off their search for the truth).... religions have people in them, and where you have people you can get agendas and stuff like that, just the same. I was naïve to think that church was not like this, because it "shouldn't" be like this. But having run up against this disillusionment, it "forced" me (if you like, but force isn't really the right word for it) to discover the truth that an individual can still discover the truth they need, even though....... + an education about the human heart and the meaning of life that is invaluable - even if hard won........
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