where did you think this post was going to go? do some hot yoga. people tend to cling to their depression and get lost in a swirl of negative thought, but when you're trying to balance and ground yourself while sweating profusely, it's impossible to focus on your "daily doom and glooms", copyright of blephenstoom. i'm not a bleeding cesspool of broadcasted grief and i'm most certainly not aswim in self-pity (i'm actually a polite, arrogant snob) but when i went to the class, i was as stoned as i was intimidated but i was amazed by the calm in the room. i mean you're like sweating like crazy it's almost funny. and your working your body so much. it's not at all unlike waging a war against the condition that is "depression", the sweat is a symbol of everything that incenses you and sometimes you get to lie down after the hour in silence while the room cools and it's surreal. so surreal. i was so moved by the sensation that i could NOT stop smiling. people overthink themselves into a catastrophe and it's a MUST to learn how to turn your emotions off so your brain can think rationally. it's a bitch to learn, how to calm yourself down, but you aren't getting any better when you opt to stay inside. you can't learn if you don't subject yourself to discomfort. so many people say "you'll feel better if you do" and sometimes we STILL hesitate to try something knew and it's that hesitation that keeps us miserable each and every time we fail to catch it as it's happening. i'm one of those people and GOOD GOD WE'RE SO FRUSTRATING but i would rather die trying to better myself than die because i've proven to myself i'm a weakling. emotions and thoughts are biochemical events that take place in the brain. treat yourself like shit and you're going to feel like shit. it makes me feel good to get into plank. it makes me feel good to hoolahoop for forty minutes. it makes me feel good to do burpies. it makes me feel good to down almonds and pumpkin seeds and vegetables and anything else i call "nature's chips" because my body is my only way to experience the setting of the planet earth. it would exist without us. probably would look very different but it's here the way it is because we're here. like, we get water and food delivered to stores and we can BUY them at anytime. we live in a world that LOVES art in spite of it's technical "uselessness", which boggles me, but art is art and it's here and we have all the vices we need to get us over the hump and out of the dump but we have to crane our necks way out of our comfort zones in order to do so. no pain no gain, they always say. they also say no risk, no glory. they're cliches for a reason. god. sorry. inspired tangent. moral: i tried hot yoga and i really enjoyed myself. another moral: pumpkin seeds are AMAZING PROTEIN.