Detached, Family and Guilt.

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Beka, Oct 6, 2013.

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  1. Beka

    Beka Well-Known Member

    Detached.

    That's how I feel.

    Completely and utterly detached, useless and pathetic.
    I want more than anything to do whatever it takes for me to get better.
    I know that losing it can help me, because I have a habit of holding everything back. But I can't. I can't do anything that helps me.

    Why? Because of my damn family. My friends are fine. They know that I wouldn't mean to if I had to go to A&E after an episode or during to keep myself safe. My family? Not so much. How the hell can I get around this? I feel so fucking guilty because not only do I upset them, I am deliberately ignoring what I need to do to keep myself safe.

    I don't want them to do this to me. I know I'm family and they must take care of me and they will get upset but why do they have to make me feel guilty?
    I'm feeling more and more unstable everyday but I can't stop holding it all in.

    I'm going to burst open and it will not be pretty.
     
  2. rtrt46546565

    rtrt46546565 Well-Known Member

    Well firstly, I wanna say that I also feel detached. Maybe not for the same reasons you do, but definitely so. So I'm with you on that one.

    But about your family, that's a tough one. I read all the time about people feeling guilty over the things they do, or might do, that affect their families, but to be honest, I can't really relate. See, I've never really been close with my family so I've never really felt anything one way or the other about how my actions would affect them.

    So keeping that in mind, I can only tell you what I would do in your situation... I say, you need to do what's best for you. Idk what A&E is, but if you think going there would help you, then do it. And do anything else that you think would help you. I'm sure putting your guilt aside isn't easy, but I feel like you shouldn't have to feel guilty for trying to better yourself, and if they're making you feel that way, then it's them that's the problem(I hope that didn't come across as mean.). If they truly care about you, then they'll support you in trying to get better, not guilt you for it.
     
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