sometimes i want to do it, to erase everything, make myself disappear, and be able to see if someone will ever miss me...
but at the same time, it would be just a way to be closer from a total breakdown. If i did that, it would be easier for me to erase myself once for all.
... my friends, familly and partner only have contact with me by internet...
so... could i do that? would i dare to do that? i feel like taking the matrix pills.
Having this every day, seeing ppl being happy without me... knowing that i would make no difference on anyones life... its so painfull, see that friends are going out without you, getting you out of their lifes bit by bit...
i know this must seem idiot... i know, normal ppl pass through it everytime without problem, they weep, they grow, they live normally.
but i cant do that, i dont have the energy, or the knowledge to know what is happening with me.
but at the same time, it would be just a way to be closer from a total breakdown. If i did that, it would be easier for me to erase myself once for all.
... my friends, familly and partner only have contact with me by internet...
so... could i do that? would i dare to do that? i feel like taking the matrix pills.
Having this every day, seeing ppl being happy without me... knowing that i would make no difference on anyones life... its so painfull, see that friends are going out without you, getting you out of their lifes bit by bit...
i know this must seem idiot... i know, normal ppl pass through it everytime without problem, they weep, they grow, they live normally.
but i cant do that, i dont have the energy, or the knowledge to know what is happening with me.