I took my measurements today and I've just fat and I curvy; 33-30-39. I Have no real curves and I'm just wide, how can any guy like me? I don't necessarily look fat when you look at me but my shape is so unflattering. I'm pear shaped, meaning I pack all my weight in my hips or lower abs, yet I still have a small butt. I'm a 34a, have no butt, a larger than average waist, and am an awkward height of about 5'9...nobody could ever want me when there are so many smaller girls at my college who have pretty eyes and long hair while I have poop brown eyes and hair that won't go past my shoulder. I wish I could get plastic surgery to not be so disgusting. I'd do anything for somebody to love and want me. I always think about going to extreme eating measures but it never works for me, I can't maintain not eating or something. There are maybe 2 things I like about my appearance, otherwise I'm an ugly 20 yr old with no hope of being loved. I'm so hopeless and unhappy.