Do You Ever Feel Like a Fraud for Being Alive?

[Here Then Gone]

Hello,
One of the things I often struggle with is the feeling that my existence is based on dishonesty, and/or seemingly cowardly self-preservation. When I did an online search, it shows me the possibility of imposter syndrome, and I don't think that's me as it's not a self-esteem issue. By this point in my life, I know who I am and what I'm worth. This is more of an honesty problem, and I often wonder if I'm just lying to myself so that I don't go towards self-harm again. Have you ever felt this feeling or heard of this?

It's a feeling that my existence or just being alive is dishonest, like the most honest thing I could do with my life is end it. I don't expect everyone to understand this or know how to deal with it, but I'd like to have a logical defense next time the part of my brain that wants to self-destruct starts using my own beliefs of honesty and fearlessness against me. I'm looking for the truth about myself, but it's a dangerous question, as I know it's possible the answer could be unpleasant and lead to self-destruction. At the same time, I don't want to live a lie forever, should that be the case. I want to find an honest way to live with my existence, if possible, and I don't know if I can yet. thanks for any help

 

[may71]

I'm sorry you're going through this.

By this point in my life, I know who I am and what I'm worth

You have inherent worth as a human being. You're also probably a much better person than you give yourself credit for being.

Society has ideas about the worth of people, but those ideas are mostly crap. Some of the most harmful people in the world also have high social status.

I hope you can stop yourself from self-destructing by realizing that your ideas about the value of a human being may be wrong, and that you're much more valuable than you think you are.

 

[Here Then Gone]

I'm sorry you're going through this.

You have inherent worth as a human being. You're also probably a much better person than you give yourself credit for being.

Society has ideas about the worth of people, but those ideas are mostly crap. Some of the most harmful people in the world also have high social status.

I hope you can stop yourself from self-destructing by realizing that your ideas about the value of a human being may be wrong, and that you're much more valuable than you think you are.

Thanks May. I've considered that possibility I could be wrong and may never know the true answer to this. I am still under the impression that ideas like self-worth, human value, or 'better' are mostly subjective views we all have. How do we know for sure, what objective proof or standard across the board do we have that determines this? I don't know, we all seem to decide that based on our values and life experience. Or perhaps genetics, I don't know how much of it is a choice somedays.

 

[may71]

Thanks May

You're welcome