Though I'm horribly depressed a lot of the time I no longer wish to end my life. I just want my life to be more manageable, or learn to make it that way. I have too much to live for and my death would be very very bad for my kids and animals. Besides I have two grandsons (so far) and would like to see them grow up and develop. So no, I don't want to die, I just want to live more happily, if that's possible.