I am so very tired of the roller coaster ride. The ups are wonderful ~ the straight turns are okay ~ the descent is a terror and always seems a surprise. It seems too that the descent is when friends become busy or absent or ready to run away screaming because the tunnel (me) is too dark, too scary, too ... me. Doing healthful things is exhausting and only gives temporary results. Some days I just don't want to try any more. Besides, who needs "needy" friends/acquaintances? No one - life is too short to have to deal with needy "it"/needy me. Just stop the ride, retire the roller coaster, let me leave the amusement park. It long ago stopped being amusing.