I don't think I'm technically depressed. I can feel normal. But I have some crazy mood swings. It sometimes only takes a nudge to make me feel very depressed. A misplaced thought or word can make me start crying. And once I'm in this depressed mood, I can't snap out of it easily. I feel anxious all the time. I worry about everything. And it doesn't help that I have all these weird health things going on. Headaches, stomach pains, heartburn, chest pain and tightness, lightheadedness. I don't know if any of these things are worth going to the doctor for. Sometimes I feel like I'm seriously ill and sometimes I feel like I'm majorly overreacting. I'm incredibly irritable, and I don't know if my annoyance at certain things is justified or not. I feel like a horrible person. I blame myself for the things that make me sad, for being sad. I feel trapped and worthless. I am not considering suicide because thinking about it makes me feel guilty, but I wish it were an option. I do want to hurt myself sometimes. And I know that many of these things are consistent with depression, but I don't think they're constant. It's been like this on and off for weeks, and I am capable of feeling completely normal. But when it's bad, it's very bad. I don't know what to do.
I don't know where I'm going with this. I guess I just needed to tell someone how I'm feeling because there's no one I can talk to here.
I don't know where I'm going with this. I guess I just needed to tell someone how I'm feeling because there's no one I can talk to here.