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Empathy Only Downward spiral that I can't stop

I really don't know what to say. In the last week I've lost my best friend because of something that happened 8 years ago and has only surfaced now. I'm totally to blame and instead of handling it like I should have I've just fallen in the darkest hold I've ever been in. All I want is to talk to her about it but she won't see me because of my current mental state and how I've handled everything, as well as the original issue. I'm so devastated because we did everything together and one day she was there and the next she was gone. I was about 3 seconds away from not existing a couple of days ago because I thought we were going to get the chance to talk and to move forward but then indicated that she wasn't coming and she set me up and called an ambulance instead. They made me go to hospital but I was discharged that night thankfully. I'm struggling with an eating disorder too and I know she's had enough of my shit and refusal to get help but now that I'm actually trying it's too late. I don't want to be here anymore because this will affect every area of my life and I just can't see a way out 😔


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That's rough @Fallingfast21, I can't imagine how much it would hurt to have a falling out like that with my best friend. You're trying now though, and that means a lot. I don't know what the future holds for you. I do know we'll be there for you as you work through that and figure it out. Hang in there okay?
This sounds really tough, I’m so sorry this has happened to you @Fallingfast21 i understand how difficult it will be to move forward but I hope you find the strength to carry on and perhaps gain a little comfort from us all here on SF. Stay strong. You can do this. *hug Xx

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