Hi, I joined this site around June last year but I rarely use the forum, I mainly use the chat room, probably because I feel as if I'm bad at contributing in a thread way. Yesterday I was discharged from hospital after spending almost 6 week there and also diagnosed with dysthymic and body disporphic traits. I looked up on the internet about depression before, but never delved into this area, I looked things up such as personality disorders, avoidant and borderline before, but I wasn't convinced. Dysthymic is where you are sad in sometime of the day for at least 2 years apparently and through my life I know I've had episodes of major depression, 2009 and 2013 overdoses, it's starting to make sense to me. I kept thinking if I was sociable or a loner, because I can talk to people in groups if needed, but I liked to be away from people a lot, I could function a little bit in my own company but if anything else was in the frame I would lose a little of my good mood, and with this disorder, being low to start with put me in a hard situation, struggling to function more and if a bad life event went on this is where more harm came to my self. I lost myself and sight of reality, I found it a little strange having women around me in the hospital talking about simple things like nail varnish, my brain finds it hard to register this as perfectly normal sometimes but it was helpful. I'm not sure what else to type at this minute, but if anyone else wishes for help or wants to ask me something they think may be related, I'll try my best to help and I hope to add more things I think of in time. How I was admitted, I was hanging around a bridge at the time and eventually a police car found me tucked away in a corner and they asked me where I wanted to go, I said to the hospital, I refused to go home, knowing the same thing would happen, the crisis team came to see me and asked where would I go, I said back to my bridge and this is where I was taken to a proper ward. I feel on the line stating a bridge, but it seems to be of significance and I hope you can get help like me to see things more clearly before this happens. much love to all.