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end of the line

#1
i still haven't admitted everything to everyone, about how i've failed and have no plan or hope for the future. i'm just counting down until i can end it all.

i'm buying decorations and realising there's no point in putting them up. everytime i visit somewhere, i keep wondering if this will be the last time i'll ever see it.

it's always in the back of my mind, this suicide plan, like i know exactly how i want my life to end and when. i don't want to think about what i'll leave behind, i just want to go.

is it selfish? yes. and i know it's wrong to not care, but i'm really struggling to see a point in caring about my life when it's so worthless and stupid. i have nothing to be ambitious about, and i don't want to spend the rest of my life feeling regret and disappointment.

i think i've accepted my own death.
 
#2
I'm sorry things are so bad.
i'm really struggling to see a point in caring about my life when it's so worthless and stupid
Your life isn't worthless and stupid. It hasn't gone the way you expected it to go, but there could still be something worthwhile about living even if you don't have a plan for the future.

There's no rush for a suicide attempt. If you believe you'll be dead forever, there's every reason to wait to see if there's another way life could go.

Sending hugs if you would like hugs
 

seabird

meandering home
SF Supporter
#4
it's always in the back of my mind, this suicide plan, like i know exactly how i want my life to end and when. i don't want to think about what i'll leave behind, i just want to go.
It doesn't necessarily mean it is your fate. Please consider a different decision, to stay alive. Sometimes it's huge changes asking to be given a chance which make us feel it's the last time we'll see a place.

Perhaps you could get some support here, it is a safe place to just be whoever you are. You're not alone; many of us have thoughts along these kinds of lines. I don't mean exactly, just that we do understand.

I'm sorry things are at this point. You are worth saving CryingForPie, we all are.
 

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