Existential crisis
- Thread starter absured angel
- Start date
I think all the talk about losing and finding ourselves is based on a false premise, namely that the self is an object which is somehow seperate from us which can be searched for and found, when in fact the self is the subject which is doing the searching. We already are, and always have been, what we seek. It's only the awareness of this which is lacking -all you need to do is to give up the seeking attitude, the thought that the self is an object to be found, and just be what you always were, and will be - the centre of everything you think, perceive, and experience.
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Happy, artistic, i genuinely cared about people and if someone had an issue i was the friend you could talk to (even strangers would share thier life story with me for some reason) more empathetic I guess you could say. I worked hard to accomplish things and very rarely complained. Now I'm none of that. I'm detached I dont care and haven't touched a art brush in years, much more selfish about things. It's hard to be who I was before ( but i also let people walk all over me before)
If you were so focused on the needs of others that you 'forgot' yourself, detachment is a good thing. You said you felt a lack of 'soul' connection but I think you need to reconnect with yourself to feel the freedom and peace of 'just being' - without the usual feeling of pressure to be or do anything in particular. If you are attracted to Buddhism, I would encourage you to take up mindfulness meditation as a way of letting go this pressure to experience just being what you are in essence. It's easier to learn the practice from an experienced teacher than on your own because our minds are all over the place and full of misconceptions which need to be cleared away before concentration on 'just being' is possible.
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It sounds to me like you are burned out, not uncaring. Try to remember that self care isn't selfishness. I bet you will go back to your "old self" when you finally allow yourself to take some time for you, and know that it is okay to not always be receptive to others.
On a side note, you can be nice without letting others walk all over you. Use this down time to set up some boundaries for yourself. Remember that it is not mean to say "no."
On a side note, you can be nice without letting others walk all over you. Use this down time to set up some boundaries for yourself. Remember that it is not mean to say "no."
