Falling into depression again...

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Hurted, Sep 9, 2008.

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  1. Hurted

    Hurted Well-Known Member

    I guess its just the matter of month or two...

    Frustration...

    It doesnt help that i cant smoke less than 25 ciggarets daily at 17---it doesnt help that i cant lose weight...

    Piano- my number one substitute for cutting only made me more frustrated, i am stuck in 5 pieces that i just cannot learn...

    Im heaving health problems too... being tired, cant sleep... i dont have energy to listen at school or even read books...

    My mother is more and more sick... she doesnt want to go to doctor...

    I dont want to fuck my life, to fuck up at school.

    My self esteem is really low...i am just trapped so much...

    The only thing that helps is that i am pretty smart. That is the only thing i like about myself...

    Im overating again... and of course, with very healthy food.... (just my dark sarcasm...)

    I feel more and more lonely and missunderstood by my friends...

    I feel that even people on internet ignore me, thats weird:)

    I feel ugly all the time... i am very sad lately... and frustrated... oh god, im so fucking frustred right now!

    Im tired of living like this and being too weak to change anything... im tired of my social life... of my "anxiety"...

    I dislike schrinks... they only cause you more problem....

    So as the title says... i can feel depression breathing behind me... Now when the winter is close, and the days are darker....

    I want to cut too... just piano hold me back, cutting elsewhere than wrist doesnt work for me:(

    Just another stupid thread...

    And sorry for so many mistakes, but im too sleepy / tired to concentrate on english
     
  2. dixie27

    dixie27 Member

    Hi. I'm rather new here, but you mentioned that you felt ignored, so while I don't have anything really helpful to say, I wanted to tell you that I read your post and thought about you. I'm a cutter, too. I wish I could play the piano; that's a great talent to have. Music can take you to a better place in your spirit... I'm sorry you are slipping down. I want to tell all the young people that it's not time for you to die. It's too early, and there is still a good chance that things will change for the better. My life is totally different from when I was younger...everyone's life changes dramatically as you grow. I'm too old for anything good to save me from my death wish...every chance I had in life is gone, and I'm just in a holding pattern for the grave.:piano:
     
  3. Hurted

    Hurted Well-Known Member


    Thanks for reply... i am trying to do my best to feel better...

    About you... why are you depressed? It's never too late for piano... Practice is equal to talent, did you know that?:)

    I hope you will feel better soon.
    You can pm me...:hug:
     
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