Substance abuse is gone? Anytime i sleep, for the night, a nap, i'm plagued with torment, torture, death. Unless I blackout, or rather, just drunk enough. If i'm sober there is a constant presence of a ghost, or some type of evil. It fights me to wake from these nightmares. I've woke only to realize I haven't woke. I've fought kicking and screaming to wake. I've been tormented and tortured countless times. Murdered. Of course i've experienced good dreams, wonderful dreams but they all end in nightmare. The times I find myself without alcohol, I dread sleeping for I know what awaits me. The worst are those where I feel awake. Regurgitating, something, that happens alot. Cesare like feeling in my legs, trying to wake only to have visuals. Especially those where I believe I have wakened only to find out the worse is yet to come. I know it has something to do with the 3rd party entity in my brain. I forget about this thing and act normal most the time. Only remembering it after the sleep and dreams were unbearable. Now it torments me during the day. Well at least only when I think of the damn thing. I really don't want medication that would make me zombie. Is that the only thing?