I know this is a very common issue for most girls. I'm an asian and I always want to make my skin fairer because I think white is better. And I dont like my hair. Its a mess. Sometimes I looke at the mirror and I dont like what I see. I think I need to fix this part, and that part, and etc... list are endless..
I dont really believe in inner beauty, most people only see you from the outside
First of all, I'd like to ask how old you are.
At different stages of our lives, we all have different priorities and I think the most important thing with people, is to get their priorities straight.
I don't know how active of a user you are, so I have no idea whether you will be reading this but I'd like to say something as it also applies to me a lil bit.
I myself is also asian, from a country where beauty and music (general media) is able to influence people from all around the world.
I have been through what you have been through also, but then again everyone who was ever born goes through the 'am I attractive' phase so I don't think it is an uncommon problem.
I was involved with the entertainment industry when I was younger (I was a model) so I know the emphasis of 'gotta become more attractive' on people.
So here I am trying to tell you a few things regarding beauty and you'll know that I understand.
Have you ever asked yourself this- is being stunningly beautiful what I really want?
I know that in our society where men are graded by their ability and women, by their beauty makes us pursue this path (the media) but I want you to seriously ask yourself the question above at least once.
would you rather be successful (as in a millionare who owns enough things to live a luxurious life until the end of time) or beautiful?
you have to have your priorities straight. A clear goal.
If you don't, and just hope to be beautiful of course you'll end up stressed. On top of that, if things don't go well for you, other stress will stack up above that (eg-I am not beautiful, AND I don't have a job).
If you are depressed because you don't feel pretty, well there are ways to make yourself attractive so you are not completely out of options.
But just before I tell you these, I want you to know I also don't believe in the 'inner beauty' thing (which is rubbish) as I believe everyone can achieve that and if everyone can be beautiful inside, it ain't really beauty.
If you really wish to become beautiful, find a good plastic surgeon. And about your hair, find a good stylist. If you can't afford that right now, then make it your goal to be able to afford it then follow through with it.
After the surgery you will hopefully feel beautiful and that's that.
Beauty is the most miniscule thing to me because in the end it doesn't last forever. It just doesn't make sense to me to put in so much of my blood and sweat to achieve something so ephereal.
You have to ask yourself this also- do you really wish to become beautiful KNOWING that whatever you do there will always be somebody who is more beautiful than you are?
Is wanting to appeal to the opposite sex so important to you?
Be honest to yourself, and if it is indeed beauty you seek, then go for it. Don't just sit there and complain. Do something about it.
If there is one thing I envy about you, is that you actually 'want' something. That alone should be enough to keep you going, living life at the fullest.