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Feel beautiful?

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by bluet, Oct 8, 2008.

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  1. bluet

    bluet Member

    I know this is a very common issue for most girls. I'm an asian and I always want to make my skin fairer because I think white is better. And I dont like my hair. Its a mess. Sometimes I looke at the mirror and I dont like what I see. I think I need to fix this part, and that part, and etc... list are endless..
    I dont really believe in inner beauty, most people only see you from the outside
  2. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    You have to love who you are on the inside hun. Then other people will love you too. :hug:
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    In todays world color of skin doesn't matter. I am white, my daughter is white and my grandaughter is half black so she is a little dark. This does not matter, people judge you from personality more than anything. My Grandaughter is perfectly o.k. about her color. She is beautiful, smart, well behaved, and has a strong sence of who she is!!
    Don't let remarks made to you get you down. And you are wrong beauty is skin deep. I for one would prefer a woman with a good personality over a bathing beauty. I am not saying there aren't asswipes who are predujice. Espeacially here in the South. I have been with my grandaughter and overherd remarks made by them, my grandaughter would squeeze my hand and tell me not to worry because they don't know any better. Now to hear that from a seven year old it makes me proud she is so strong!! Just be happy with yourself I am sure you are a beautiful person!!!Take Care!!!~Joseph~
  4. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    If you believe you are beautiful, other people will reflect that back to you, and vice versa. It's just a matter of believing what is true. You are beautiful. Everyone is. When you accept that you are beautiful, which you are, then other people will start confirming it.
    much love :heart:
  5. i wish i could offer support, but all ive got is that im in the same boat you are, apart from the fact that im a guy. if such a concept as "inner beauty" can help you feel better about yourself, by all means, go for it
  6. Demi

    Demi Member

    First of all, I'd like to ask how old you are.
    At different stages of our lives, we all have different priorities and I think the most important thing with people, is to get their priorities straight.

    I don't know how active of a user you are, so I have no idea whether you will be reading this but I'd like to say something as it also applies to me a lil bit.

    I myself is also asian, from a country where beauty and music (general media) is able to influence people from all around the world.
    I have been through what you have been through also, but then again everyone who was ever born goes through the 'am I attractive' phase so I don't think it is an uncommon problem.

    I was involved with the entertainment industry when I was younger (I was a model) so I know the emphasis of 'gotta become more attractive' on people.
    So here I am trying to tell you a few things regarding beauty and you'll know that I understand.

    Have you ever asked yourself this- is being stunningly beautiful what I really want?

    I know that in our society where men are graded by their ability and women, by their beauty makes us pursue this path (the media) but I want you to seriously ask yourself the question above at least once.

    would you rather be successful (as in a millionare who owns enough things to live a luxurious life until the end of time) or beautiful?

    you have to have your priorities straight. A clear goal.

    If you don't, and just hope to be beautiful of course you'll end up stressed. On top of that, if things don't go well for you, other stress will stack up above that (eg-I am not beautiful, AND I don't have a job).

    If you are depressed because you don't feel pretty, well there are ways to make yourself attractive so you are not completely out of options.
    But just before I tell you these, I want you to know I also don't believe in the 'inner beauty' thing (which is rubbish) as I believe everyone can achieve that and if everyone can be beautiful inside, it ain't really beauty.

    If you really wish to become beautiful, find a good plastic surgeon. And about your hair, find a good stylist. If you can't afford that right now, then make it your goal to be able to afford it then follow through with it.
    After the surgery you will hopefully feel beautiful and that's that.

    Beauty is the most miniscule thing to me because in the end it doesn't last forever. It just doesn't make sense to me to put in so much of my blood and sweat to achieve something so ephereal.

    You have to ask yourself this also- do you really wish to become beautiful KNOWING that whatever you do there will always be somebody who is more beautiful than you are?

    Is wanting to appeal to the opposite sex so important to you?

    Be honest to yourself, and if it is indeed beauty you seek, then go for it. Don't just sit there and complain. Do something about it.

    If there is one thing I envy about you, is that you actually 'want' something. That alone should be enough to keep you going, living life at the fullest.
  7. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    I used to feel like you throughout my adolescence. I internalised a lot of asian girls at my school talking about skin colour, bollywood etc, I internalised it because I hated myself. I'm 23 now by the way. I realised last year that the world is truly FUCKED UP if I am sitting by the mirror saying I have "too indian nose" "too indian lips" and that I'm starving myself because I want to erase myself (just one of the reasons for my ED). Where did I get these ideas from? From others. From those girls. From my parents and people around me. That realisation really sickened me. It shocked me because I didn't know why I didn't like my face. When I realised that, you know what? I started to blossom. I don't think like that anymore. I just realised the world is truly fucked up if I'm trying to be white, do you get me?

    Look after yourself. xx I bet your gorgeous. But why do you want to be fairer?
  8. Atheist Demon

    Atheist Demon Account Closed

    I understand that, I am black and I fucken hate it. I always wished I was white, or at least a non-black race. Be glad of being asian, cause it can't be worse then being black.
  9. Tecky

    Tecky Well-Known Member

    Actually speaking from a purely superficial point of view, I would like to point out that many Caucasian girls born with fair skin spend lots of good money at the beauty salons to get that artificial bronze tan that we Asians are born with.

    Does that make you feel better? :)

  10. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Asian girls are hot. I'm totally crushing on the Asian girl across the hall.

    As for the hair, you can neaten it fairly easily - or let it be a mess, or hell, even shave it. It's not really a particularly big deal, and abnormal hairstyles will get you noticed.

    As I recall, you stand out and you know it. Run with it. Dye your hair blue and leave it sticking up all over the place. You're going to stand out from 100 yards away, and you're going to catch some boy's eye. [I go for abnormal hair colours, personally, and purple and green hair is the only reason I've ever initiated a conversation with a female stranger]
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 28, 2008
  11. noplacetogo

    noplacetogo Well-Known Member

    People do only see you from the outside, but I believe that the way we are inside reflects outward. I work with these two women, they both have almost identical characteristics: both have curly blondish hair, blue eyes, big noses, big smiles. One is kind and open-minded, while the other is judgemental and possibly filled with anger. Because of this, the kind girl always looks radiant and beautiful while the other not at all. You can see this sort of thing in identical twins too if you know any personally. The way you are inside can definitely effect the way you look on the outside.
    With that said, I understand how you feel. I think your mind's been affected by the media and probably men. All we see are white girls as symbols of beauty in our society, or possibly the world society now. So it's not hard to come to the decision that who you are is not beautiful. Turn off your TV and pay no attention to the glossy magazines. It's a ploy to make you hate yourself so you spend every last dime on cosmetics and god knows what else. Don't let other people make you feel unattractive because you're asian, hate them.
    Movie recomendation, The Truth about Cats and Dogs. I don't know why I'm mentioning it, just thought it was relevent and a cute movie. There aren't any asian women in it, but there's a good scene about faces and shapes.
  12. Stormhand

    Stormhand Well-Known Member

    In my eyes I have always though beauty as mind over matter.
    I know alot of people some more attractive then others.

    There is a couple ppl I know who are very proportional, but that don't seem to bother them, but they make themselves beautiful by radiating through their personalities.

    I wish I had the confidence to do that, I just have not been a heavily social person l like they are.
  13. bluet

    bluet Member

    Depends on where you are. There are some places where its better to be black. Today I'm just looking at the other girls in my class and realize that they are fairer and more pretty. I know some of you might think asian skin is fine, but in here things are different. When you asked a man about this favourite kind of girl, the first thing that he said is white skin. Trust me, I checked a lot of them
    Well, Stranger1, its great that you have that experience. I wonder when will I have it. My hair is a mess, I try to fix it but its still a mess sometimes. My skin can't be fair although I tried all the skin care products. I'm not yet doing any surgery though. Should I? Geez, its really hard. Would someone drop a PM or chat? :sad:
    Any of you ever been the ugly duckling?
  14. bluet

    bluet Member

    You sure its not easier to just do a plastic surgery?
  15. BioHomocide

    BioHomocide Well-Known Member

    Inner beauty? haha
    Most of the people in the world only see with their eyes.
    To appreciate inner beauty you need to see with your heart.
    But It's sad to say most people never use their hearts.

    It's hard to feel beautiful when you hate everything about how you look.
  16. bluet

    bluet Member

    Yeah, they only see with their eyes, so I'm invicible for them. I start to thinking seriously about some "beauty procedures"
  17. Zurkhardo

    Zurkhardo Well-Known Member

    I was an ugly duckling up until 16, when I finally lost weight and started taking care of my appearence more. I'm told I'm rather good looking but I honestly don't know either way: I try not to think about it much.

    Still, my appearences don't matter much to me. Good looking or not, I'm still lonely and unable to attract most all women I encounter (those I have dated and attracted I'm highly grateful for).

    Here's hoping I can keep up with my workout regimine.
  18. Zurkhardo

    Zurkhardo Well-Known Member

    I've noted this as well.
  19. Darker Than Black

    Darker Than Black Well-Known Member

    Hey, I'm asian too ^.^ I used to like to dress up in brand clothing because everyone around me wore brands, I thought wearing brands would make me "cooler". But really, nobody cares what you do, so I stop dressing up so preppy. And I met some really nice people, they weren't all "I'm so cool, cuz I wear Energy(brand)", actually it was an entire school, almost everyone was like that. I was just w/ the wrong people.

    what I think now " Who care WTF people think about me (other than my SA), I'm gonna get high grades and work up in Fort Mac. I'm gonna have a comfortable life style, nice house and everything, I'm gonna work hard towards it, so when I get up there, let's see all you fucking prepies laugh now, HAHA." I don't know if this is off topic or not, but anyways, you shouldn't waste your time doing that, should focus on something else, meet some ppl that won't care what you wear. etc. GL
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