Practical Advice feeling a little hopeless

[Barrels of monkeys]

I’ve recently started counselling (had three sessions so far) but i can already tell its not going to help me at all.
Not to mention the fact i get extremely anxious before each session. Its every Wednesday and i'm already worrying about going now.
I really don't know what else I can get in terms of help other than this though,
my parents seem very against any real medication and I know thats most likely what I need along with what i'm getting now.
I've spoken to so many people and it hasn't changed anything,
talking to someone about how I want to kill myself etc. just isn't going to stop me from wanting to do it.
I've already told my mum I don't find it helpful but she still went and paid for it and got all defensive so I really don't know what to do about it.

 

[may71]

I’ve recently started counselling (had three sessions so far) but i can already tell its not going to help me at all.

Sorry that counseling doesn't seem helpful. My take on it is that counseling can help if there's something you want to express to the therapist, or there's something that you can learn from the therapist, but aside from that it's not going to help much. I guess in some cases counseling could help in a way that you don't expect, but there may be some other treatment methods that you'll like better.

This link has some information about treatment methods and resources that might be helpful

Treating Depression, Anxiety, Insomnia, Pain; Other Suicide Help

These two sub-links might help in particular

Chinese Herbal Medicine and Acupuncture, World's Second Largest Medical System

Self-Treatment and Miscellaneous

I think most or all acupuncture and Chinese herbal clinics in the UK are shut down at the moment because of C19 restrictions, but I recommend trying these treatments as soon as they become available to you.

I hope something can help.

 

[johnDoen]

I’ve recently started counselling (had three sessions so far) but i can already tell its not going to help me at all.
Not to mention the fact i get extremely anxious before each session. Its every Wednesday and i'm already worrying about going now.
I really don't know what else I can get in terms of help other than this though,
my parents seem very against any real medication and I know thats most likely what I need along with what i'm getting now.
I've spoken to so many people and it hasn't changed anything,
talking to someone about how I want to kill myself etc. just isn't going to stop me from wanting to do it.
I've already told my mum I don't find it helpful but she still went and paid for it and got all defensive so I really don't know what to do about it.

Has your counselor noticed any of your anxious expressions (biting lips, avoid eye contacts, touching face, etc. ) during a session? Any of the expressions should be obvious enough because of extreme feeling of anxiety. You can tell the counselor you are "extremely anxious" prior to every session, yell at them if you must since it's more comfortable to release a part of your feeling.

I recommend finding a therapist and talk to them about how you want to kill yourself. It's a therapist's responsibilities to inform your parents about medications and treatments, only if you are younger than 18. In a sense, therapists can be viewed as doctors so I think your parents may be convinced somehow, unless they are anti-vaccine and "COVID is a hoax" kind of people.

For now, avoid talking about suicidal thing to your mom. She is uncomfortable with it, but I think she loves you, regardless.