Just need to get some stuff out. Lately things have been going down hill, i've been depressed for about 2-3 years now, I went through a really dark patch for a while but things picked up a few months back, but in the last few weeks everything just feels as if its collapsing around me. I've lost two good mates, they've just excluded me from there group, no idea really why they just kinda stopped talking to me inviting me out, so basically my social life went out the window. I have 2 other good mates who I used to talk to about stuff, but the one I dont feel like I can talk to anymore, while the other kinda just doesnt seem intrested. As for relationships, I did kinda think things were going to go somewhere with this girl, but it got a bit weird for a while, but then it looked as if I was ok with her again, then she basically just stood me up the other night, and it crippled me, I have horrible confidence/self esteem as it is and it litterly broke me. I won't go into why im depressed etc, its just right now with everything else on top I feel like I litterly have nothing, nothing to look forward or anyone to talk to, my week is basically me going to college or skipping college depending how I feel, then being at home feeling crap, with nobody to talk to, I sit on facebook and basically watch everybody else talk about how great there doing, what there doing and how much fun there having, while wishing I wasnt a freak and that somebody gave a fuck about me. Though it isnt all horribly bad, I do have one good mate, not one I can talk to or knows any stuff about me but I go out on a friday for a drink with him and honestly, im grateful as fuck for that because without him I wouldnt be able to do it. After friday night ends, its back to feeling shit for the rest of the week till friday again, and honestly im finding it hard to cope. Tonights just got to me, because all my old mates are just talking to each other and having fun, while I just feel like shit staring at the screen hoping someone will pop up on chat. I probably should go into more because this probably doesnt make all to much sense to everyone, but im just finding it hard to cope lately, im just feeling isolated and alone and while everyone else seems to be out living there lives and having fun I just kinda feel like ive been left behind with no way of getting back. Sorry I just needed to get some of it out, thanks for reading.