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Feeling like a failure

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#1
Going to be honest, this is my first time posting on here. I really just found this forum recently, but I just feel like I have no one to talk to. I've always been an honors student, straight A's, all APs, but last year I made two Bs both semesters. I know that to a lot of people that's still really good, but to me, it feels like I've failed, like I've ruined any chance of getting scholarships or getting into any of the schools I want. This year I was ambitious and took lots of classes, but none of them are going as well as I hoped. I have 4 Bs (it's only 1st quarter) but the quarter ends in 4 days and I am just not sure I can bring them up. I know 2 of them I can make A's, but that just doesn't feel like enough. I don't feel like enough. I work so so hard, but I just don't feel smart enough to accomplish my goals, and I'm just constantly stressed out. I'm not sure if I'm even doing this right, but I just felt like I needed to put this stuff out into the world
 
#2
Sorry that you are feeling this way Alyssa.

to me, it feels like I've failed
It sounds like you are a very intelligent and talented person. It would be terrible if you threw your life away because of your grades.

Learning to be resilient and to accept negative outcomes, including what we see as failure, is very important, because everyone fails in one way or another eventually. Everyone.

Talking to a therapist may help you to work this out. It might even be helpful for you to learn some CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) techniques on your own from a book.

You might be able to see a therapist for free at your school

I just don't feel smart enough to accomplish my goals
A lot of people have fantastic grades, but don't achieve the goals that they set for themselves. Others have terrible grades, but do. A lot of people who achieve their goals find that it doesn't make them happy. At least some people who fail to get what they wanted find something better than they had hoped for.

Sorry, I'm not even sure if this was the kind of response that you wanted, but I hope it helps.
 

Were all together

Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#3
Hello Alyssa,
You're far from being a failure. I think the two B's shook you into realizing you can't get straight A's all the time. Now, subconsciously you're questioning your ability to do well on future subjects. Thus, the doubt you're feeling about, bringing your grades up. First thing, what is past, is past. You need to look towards the future. Can't do anything about yesterday. But, you can change tomorrow. You're putting to much stress on yourself, to be perfect. But, it's okay not to be too. Just do the best you can, that's all you can ever do. You're welcome to come here anytime, if you need to talk.
 
#4
Going to be honest, this is my first time posting on here. I really just found this forum recently, but I just feel like I have no one to talk to. I've always been an honors student, straight A's, all APs, but last year I made two Bs both semesters. I know that to a lot of people that's still really good, but to me, it feels like I've failed, like I've ruined any chance of getting scholarships or getting into any of the schools I want. This year I was ambitious and took lots of classes, but none of them are going as well as I hoped. I have 4 Bs (it's only 1st quarter) but the quarter ends in 4 days and I am just not sure I can bring them up. I know 2 of them I can make A's, but that just doesn't feel like enough. I don't feel like enough. I work so so hard, but I just don't feel smart enough to accomplish my goals, and I'm just constantly stressed out. I'm not sure if I'm even doing this right, but I just felt like I needed to put this stuff out into the world

hi alyssa .

i am sorry i dont know what to say :( but i just waned to tell u i am here and we are all here to support u andl isten *hug
 

DamCore

Life is a Gamble
#5
Hey alyssa.

I don't know if I'll help with this or not.. But B's are still freaking good.. Except you want to become a doctor or something..
I graduated way worse grades ^^

But really, you can't define intelligence or usefulness through grades. You really can't.
You're not dumb, just because you got 2 or 4 B's.
Really, I wouldn't even be worried if you would get C's and D's..

Just do your best. But never EVER think, that a number defines your intelligence or you as a human.
 
#6
but you said you took a lot of classes right?
You're not a failure for getting B's, B's are amazing and even more if you have a lot of subjects to take care of. You're probably a perfectionist and that's why you feel that way.
Notes do not define a person. But your goal is to achieve A's.
I think maybe you should like, spoil yourself for a moment? Everyone can make mistakes from time to time, and sometimes we doooo fuck up badly. You didn't screw up nearly as bad, even if it's hard for you to see it, so you might think "maybe this wasn't my best period, but I can do better later"?
You KNOW you can reach the level of excellence you're after because you've had it, so of courses you're not a failure for having an extra hard time with school, because yes, it's hard.
 
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