It has become quite evident over the past few months how much I need to be on medication. I stopped taking them a few months back as I became paranoid for various reasons. I got back on them after I had a rational moment and I took them properly, however I had to keep titrating the dose back up. I was still unwell and became extremely depressed and never made it back into the dose I was on and stopped taking them again because I was in such a bad place and couldn't see the point in anything anymore. I really messed up and cancelled my psych appts and also some health appts and isolated myself. I did however continue going to therapy and have worked through some issues with my therapists and my group and my mood picked up a little. However now I feel like I am heading in the opposite direction. It's not full blown mania, it's more hypo mania and compared to other hypo manias I have had its quite mild. I'm very productive I have arranged all my appts for next month so have used this energy productively and planning exercise and planning events and things. If it stays mild I can continue to use this productively now and hope it does not escalate. I've randomly gone to my parents this weekend just to pop in and see them lol which is nice but normally we plan visits because we all work different shifts. My speech is quite pressured but making sense and my mind is racing with thoughts but it's productive thoughts. I can concentrate at the moment. But I know how quickly this can escalate and turn nasty so I'm just trying to self monitor. But it is evident that I need my meds and I am glad I've finally come to this realisation. Mental illness is horrible and really clouds any rational thinking and judgement.