Feeling overwhelmed

[sadhart]

I was once told to not put too much on my plate. And I'm trying not to do that. But I feel like I can never get enough done. Even when it comes to doing something nice for myself. I went to this store yesterday and just ended up leaving because not only was it crowded but almost everywhere I tried to go in there, I would see a couple. Like, I would try looking at something and there would be one laughing and holding hands a day it just really got to me. I know that's stupid, but right now I'm just reminded how utterly lonely and hurt I feel. Sorry if this didn't make sense, I'm kind of in a rush sharing this.

 

[Anchorchain]

@sadhart.....Would it change how you feel if you were able to not compare yourself to other people.....specifically those couples laughing and holding hands?
I was advised once, and I think it's good advice, to only compare myself to myself as I was in the past. But that only really works if one's life is moving and improving.
My own life? It inches along......I still dwell on past grievances and shortcomings.....but the quality of unsatisfactoriness gets less with each passing year. Yeah, year. I don't improve at a fast rate.
The point is to move, a step at a time, not putting too much on your plate and giving yourself a pat on the back for every gain you make. Each obstacle you overcome is another step on your journey.

 

[Holding my breath]

@sadhart.....Would it change how you feel if you were able to not compare yourself to other people.....specifically those couples laughing and holding hands?
I was advised once, and I think it's good advice, to only compare myself to myself as I was in the past. But that only really works if one's life is moving and improving.
My own life? It inches along......I still dwell on past grievances and shortcomings.....but the quality of unsatisfactoriness gets less with each passing year. Yeah, year. I don't improve at a fast rate.
The point is to move, a step at a time, not putting too much on your plate and giving yourself a pat on the back for every gain you make. Each obstacle you overcome is another step on your journey.

Such lovely way to think of things. Inching along is ok. Over time those inches turn into yards. Xx

 

[BarryW]

I have also walked out of stores when they are just too full of people, although I admit I haven't done so recently.
I've seen you mentioning real challenges watching folks be "lovey dovey" or whatever you want to call it, on a few threads now (and probably more that I haven't read). I wonder what is the path forward for you here. In your mind, do you see a future where you are significantly less bothered from seeing hand-holding and the like? What is different in that future?

 

[sadhart]

@sadhart.....Would it change how you feel if you were able to not compare yourself to other people.....specifically those couples laughing and holding hands?
I was advised once, and I think it's good advice, to only compare myself to myself as I was in the past. But that only really works if one's life is moving and improving.
My own life? It inches along......I still dwell on past grievances and shortcomings.....but the quality of unsatisfactoriness gets less with each passing year. Yeah, year. I don't improve at a fast rate.
The point is to move, a step at a time, not putting too much on your plate and giving yourself a pat on the back for every gain you make. Each obstacle you overcome is another step on your journey.

Yes, I try to do that and am able to do so sometimes. I know in previous years I was not in a good place when it came to drinking and not having a steady job. So I'm at least grateful for to not be in that dark place in my life at this time. I admire you for seeing the improvements in your life.

 

[sadhart]

I have also walked out of stores when they are just too full of people, although I admit I haven't done so recently.
I've seen you mentioning real challenges watching folks be "lovey dovey" or whatever you want to call it, on a few threads now (and probably more that I haven't read). I wonder what is the path forward for you here. In your mind, do you see a future where you are significantly less bothered from seeing hand-holding and the like? What is different in that future?

I realize I talk about this bothering me often. I don't think it's all the time or in some cases i manage to not let it bother me too much. But it's being reminded how i'm not worth those things that I see and that makes it hard to see a future where I don't feel sadness from that. Sorry if that didn't really answer your question.

 

[BarryW]

I think I understand what you mean. Sometimes to be at peace about something, the only/best way at the time is to temporarily forget about the topic. While you can achieve this sometimes in your own space, reminders are all over the place in public.