First time talking to a guy, I feel so insecure

[MyGirlyGirl]

It's been a while that a coworker introduceed me to this guy. We talked on and off for some weeks. He saw me in my profile picture, he sounds nice, he's handsome very handsome and he seems like a guy who had lots of relationships before.
He asked me today to talk to him over the phone, but I don't like my voice or the way I talk. He asked me for more pics, but I don't like to send himy pics because I think I'm not very pretty and I think he's way more better than me and he can be with better girls than me. I lead him on, ghost him, I don't pay attention to him enough according to him. I don't know how to interact with men, I don't know how to love.
And above all, he wants to see me and I can't leave the house as I told you before in my previous posts. My parents are controlling and won't let me date. I don't know what to do. Another thing is I'm afraid I get obsessed with him and start crying every day and self harming. I used to self harm over crushes before around one year ago I self harmed over a crush and was hugely obsessed with him. I don't want that. I'm very lonely, I get obsessed to everyone.

 

[MyGirlyGirl]

Another thing is, he's 3 months younger than me. I get so insecure when I think about it. I think I'm old, I'm 27 years old. He's 27 years old but he's younger. 3 months is alot. I can't handle it. I'm afraid he will leave me for other younger, attractive women. I don't want to be older.

 

[MyGirlyGirl]

I texted him that we shouldn't talk anymore because I don't want to waste his time.

 

[may71]

3 months is alot

I don't think it's much of a difference at all, and would only become less of a difference over time.

My parents are controlling and won't let me date

They don't want you to date, yet it also seems like they want you to get married. I wonder if there is a way you could talk to them about this guy. Like if he would be interested in marriage, they might allow some contact with him.

I hope things will work out.

 

[MyGirlyGirl]

I don't think it's much of a difference at all, and would only become less of a difference over time.

They don't want you to date, yet it also seems like they want you to get married. I wonder if there is a way you could talk to them about this guy. Like if he would be interested in marriage, they might allow some contact with him.

I hope things will work out.

I told him yesterday that we shouldn't talk anymore, he's gone now

 

[shadowrider]

hey there,

first i want to say sorry you feel like that all the time when it comes to guys yet please understand there is nothing wrong with you. i know that's been said to so many people but i mean this from my heart there is nothing wrong with you. the way you get obsessed over guys and how you are with everyone please believe me your not alone my friend, i was the same yet i'm now 40 and iv'e only started to find so much about myself with something fooked up i'v'e had since birth. what i am trying to say there is a reason why your like that you just need to look inside yourself and try to understand why.

To be honest i'm truly sorry for saying this but the guy you were talking to sounds like a tool. forgive me i don't judge people only there actions which in that guys case, a guy who keeps asking for pics and gives the old bullshit line of your leading me on, it's manipulation at it's finest cos no real guy or man who likes you wouldn't ask for pics or anything like that, just like me we would only like to have meaningful, stupid, funny, pointless conversations which would actually be the most beautiful conversations we have. also one of the main things a man knows is understanding boundaries and respecting how you are with certain things. as you said you can't leave your house which i understand why you can't but still it's all about making her calm and comfortable.

i'm sorry for what's going on at home but please look after yourself as best as you can. it's your life not your parents or anybody else's my friend, you were born to go on your own journey MyGirlyGirl the paths you go on through life are made by only you not by others.

And don't you dare put yourself down with how you are and look, i have not seen you yet and i already know you are a beautiful person inside don't let anyone tell you any different including yourself. i get why you're putting yourself down all the time but i'm not gonna get into here for respect for you my friend, all i'm going to say is stop listening to your mind start listening to your heart she will guide you through life, but you need to stop listening to your mind, the world & life is to loud for your mind your heart is who you are listen to her.

forgive me if it doesn't make sense i have ADHD and autism so i tend to go on but i still mean every word

 

[MyGirlyGirl]

hey there,

first i want to say sorry you feel like that all the time when it comes to guys yet please understand there is nothing wrong with you. i know that's been said to so many people but i mean this from my heart there is nothing wrong with you. the way you get obsessed over guys and how you are with everyone please believe me your not alone my friend, i was the same yet i'm now 40 and iv'e only started to find so much about myself with something fooked up i'v'e had since birth. what i am trying to say there is a reason why your like that you just need to look inside yourself and try to understand why.

To be honest i'm truly sorry for saying this but the guy you were talking to sounds like a tool. forgive me i don't judge people only there actions which in that guys case, a guy who keeps asking for pics and gives the old bullshit line of your leading me on, it's manipulation at it's finest cos no real guy or man who likes you wouldn't ask for pics or anything like that, just like me we would only like to have meaningful, stupid, funny, pointless conversations which would actually be the most beautiful conversations we have. also one of the main things a man knows is understanding boundaries and respecting how you are with certain things. as you said you can't leave your house which i understand why you can't but still it's all about making her calm and comfortable.

i'm sorry for what's going on at home but please look after yourself as best as you can. it's your life not your parents or anybody else's my friend, you were born to go on your own journey MyGirlyGirl the paths you go on through life are made by only you not by others.

And don't you dare put yourself down with how you are and look, i have not seen you yet and i already know you are a beautiful person inside don't let anyone tell you any different including yourself. i get why you're putting yourself down all the time but i'm not gonna get into here for respect for you my friend, all i'm going to say is stop listening to your mind start listening to your heart she will guide you through life, but you need to stop listening to your mind, the world & life is to loud for your mind your heart is who you are listen to her.

forgive me if it doesn't make sense i have ADHD and autism so i tend to go on but i still mean every word

Thanks for being so kind and thanks for your amazing advices. I don't think I deserve it.
I guess you're right. He wasn't a nice guy. He doesn't seem understanding too.

 

[may71]

I don't know what dating culture is like where you are, but it sounds reasonable to think that a guy that is asking for pics, especially when you haven't dated might be suspicious.

I told him yesterday that we shouldn't talk anymore, he's gone now

In principle, there's still time to reverse that though. If he's willing to follow a path toward marriage that your parents can accept, it might be worth looking into.

This guy doesn't need to be prince charming. Imho, he needs to be prince "will get you out of your nightmare home life without being a nightmare himself". If you can get to Europe by marrying him, or even just get out of the violence of your home, it would be step up unless he would also be violent or dangerous.

 

[MyGirlyGirl]

I don't know what dating culture is like where you are, but it sounds reasonable to think that a guy that is asking for pics, especially when you haven't dated might be suspicious.

In principle, there's still time to reverse that though. If he's willing to follow a path toward marriage that your parents can accept, it might be worth looking into.

This guy doesn't need to be prince charming. Imho, he needs to be prince "will get you out of your nightmare home life without being a nightmare himself". If you can get to Europe by marrying him, or even just get out of the violence of your home, it would be step up unless he would also be violent or dangerous.

I told him no, he's gone now, he won't text me anymore. I rejected him I told him no. I don't know if he's violent or not, I can't tell.
I don't think my parents allow me to marry him, though.

 

[may71]

I don't think my parents allow me to marry him, though

The irony is that your father won't let you see anyone, but is also threatening you for not being married. How are you supposed to get married if no man is allowed to marry you?

 

[MyGirlyGirl]

The irony is that your father won't let you see anyone, but is also threatening you for not being married. How are you supposed to get married if no man is allowed to marry you?

I don't know, they're abusive and stupid. They just want to abuse me. They think that the mom or a female relative of a guy see me and propose me for her male relative.