food...

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by butterflies32, Feb 25, 2010.

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  1. butterflies32

    butterflies32 Well-Known Member

    i can't do it. Food just screams at me - ur fat, ur ugly, eat me and you'l get fatter, eat me and u fail. i hate it but can't get out of it.
     
  2. butterflies32

    butterflies32 Well-Known Member

    since when did food become so important. its a waste of time and effort.
     
  3. Landlocked blues

    Landlocked blues Well-Known Member

    i actually wish it was doing that to me. i AM fat! not saying your lucky cause i know it must be har for you but just wanted to let you know, i know how you feel but from the opposite side. i over-eat. x
     
  4. butterflies32

    butterflies32 Well-Known Member

    i majorly under eat but my weight just wont drop. I have been doing it for 8 years now and am normal weight apparently. I see otherwise.
     
  5. Landlocked blues

    Landlocked blues Well-Known Member

    i used to be bulemic now im "better" i eat too much and apparently im "normal" too
     
  6. butterflies32

    butterflies32 Well-Known Member

    im sorry to hear that.

    Sam
     
  7. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    It sounds like things are very hard for you and you are caught in the painful cycle.

    I believe studies have shown that the less you eat, the fatter you believe you are because you don't get enough energy to your brain and it distorts what you see, so you can't see the truth.

    Why is it that being not 'fat' or 'ugly' or any of the other things you said is so important?

    Often, those things are a cover and a symptom for something else, a root cause. Do you know what the root cause of your eating is?

    Do you have any professional support or anyone to support you on your journey?
     
  8. butterflies32

    butterflies32 Well-Known Member

    i just have to be perfect. the perfect size, shape, weight, life. everything...
     
  9. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Then you're trying to be something you can NEVER be because you are a human, and by nature, we are not perfect, and can never be perfect.

    What makes you think you have to be?
     
  10. butterflies32

    butterflies32 Well-Known Member

    no your wrong everyone is perfect but im not. :sad:
     
  11. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    What it about people that makes them perfect? And not you?

    I'm sure as hell not perfect, I stuff up ALL the time. I bet you would struggle to find someone on this site that thinks they have never stuffed up. If you stuff up it means you are not perfect, but it does mean you are a human.
     
  12. butterflies32

    butterflies32 Well-Known Member

    its not about stuffing up. It's...its difficult to explain. I dont really know how to explain it. It is hard to. urm... ok it's just me.

    Sam
    x
     
  13. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I'd really like to understand, if you can find a way to communicate it. As I currently see it, and I may be wrong, because I dont know fully what's going on, it sounds like you have a warped vision of what everyone around you is like, and are trying to achieve that skewed idea of what people are like.

    What is it that you think you need to do to be perfect? Can you detail more about it?
     
  14. butterflies32

    butterflies32 Well-Known Member

    I need to lose more weight be who people want me to me not an idiot or anyone else. I have to be places by certain times and do things at certain times. I have to be perfect. otherwise people wont like me.
    Sam
    xxx
     
  15. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Do you only like perfect people?

    Whatever weight you are, it doesn't change the person you are, so people won't like you more or less at a different weight. What people will like about you are your good qualities. Everyone has good qualities.

    It sounds to me like you have little to no self esteem, and probably little to no self worth or confidence. Could you maybe start to work on building some self esteem about yourself?
     
  16. butterflies32

    butterflies32 Well-Known Member

    how would i do that?

    everyone else is perfect in theeir own way. just not me.
     
  17. savetoniqht

    savetoniqht Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you're going through this, I know how hard it can be. Try and stay strong and feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk more.
     
  18. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    been there, done that. see, the problem with perfec, is that when you reach 'perfect', it isn't perfect enough, and so you think that you need to lose a few more pounds to get control... and thats what it was like for me. one day i'd restrict and not eat anything at all, and then the next day i'd think it was all worthless and that i was worthless and imperfect and that i may as well eat and so i'd binge on whatever, and feel bad for doing it. and then because i felt bad for doing it, i'd cut which would make me feel worse for doing it, and then in order to make myself feel more in control, i'd not eat again, and the cycle would start over.

    one day, i'd love to meet the 'people' you talk of. 'people' is kind of like 'everyone', and it's not possible to have 'everyone' like you. if everyone does like you, then you're not really being *you*, if that makes sense. you have to like YOURSELF for who you are... or at least find some beauty in yourself, methinks. i know, its easier said than done... but that's what i think.

    TDM
     
  19. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

  20. butterflies32

    butterflies32 Well-Known Member

    I fail I'm low I'm worthless. I'm no good. I hide. This what happens when I'm not perfect of fail to be perfect at something.
     
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