forever alone

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by mikey805, Aug 18, 2014.

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  1. mikey805

    mikey805 New Member

    Hi. Im new here and totally dont know how to start.
    But um I have been suffering from depression for years. It wasnt until like a year ago i started to get better
    And i thought i was gonna be ok and i was up until August 9th where everything went to complete shit.
    I had horrible stomach pain which caused me to go to the hospital I had to get surgery they removed my appendix.and i thought it couldnt get any worser than that well I was wrong. so its sunday and my girlfriend of 3 years well ex girlfriend now came and visited me while I was in recovery. now this was like 6am or 7am snd she walks in doesnt say anything just sits down and remains quiet so I knew somthing was wrong. I felt like she didnt love me anymore so i asked
    And yeah she said she wasn't in love with me anymore and broke up with me. She left me while i was in recovery. My heart broke and i couldnt take the pain I cried. Everything was falling apart I had lost the love of my life. We have a 10 month old baby boy and we live together so Its hard to get over her when I see her everyday. Shes kicking me out friday so im just trying to spend as much time with my son. I dont know whats gonna happen when I leave, I have a mom and two brothers who are homless right now trying to look for a place right now and i have to go with them i have to help them cus i dont have nowhere else to go well i do but i dont wanna go all the way to santa ana where my father lives. i dont wanna leave my son
    hes truly all I got in this world. Im so depressed right now cus im at alost right now im having a crisis right now. I wanna die
    I wanna leave this world so badly I cant take it anymore, but I cant die as much as I want to I cant...I just cant leave my son.
    which why im depressed I cant hold on knowing that I faild somehow and my will to live is breaking slowly. Im losing my mind im here all alone my friends are to busy to keep me company right now my ex has my son and there at her moms right now. So im alone losing my mind trying to find somthing to do to keep from suffering. Ha depression sucks so much I hate it cant stand to feel this way anymore.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    What YOU do mikey is you fight for your rights to have your child even custody ok You do not let her have soul custody You do that for your son he will always need you hun so please use the pain you are feeling to fight for equal rights to your child and when he is older he will see that you fought for him ok Don't let her just walk away with your son
  3. mikey805

    mikey805 New Member

    Thank you. Its not gonna be easy but your right and I will be strong for him
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