If you have seen my posts here you know I haven't lived the best life but I do my best to get over stuff and try to move on. Recently my best friend got released from prison and we hadn't seen each other in years. A couple months after he got out he started calling me and asking me questions about cars (this is normal and he's not the only one that calls me about this). None of this is my issue and I know my friend tries to show he cares because he has said "I love you" and that's not something friends just throw out. A week ago he stopped by and asked me to dial his Jeep in because it was running like s**t. I did and talked with him for a few hours. He left and I haven't heard from him again (not much of a surprise to me I'm nice so most people use me). Now my 30th birthday was two days after he came by. I figured a person that would say "I love you" to a friend would also care enough to at least call them on their 30th birthday. But no. Not only did I not hear from him but I also couldn't even get an email, text, or phone call from anyone I know (both friends and family). It's these things that push me to thoughts of suicide because people are happy to have me fix their stuff for free but when I want a "happy birthday" phone call/text it's too much for them to do. I've lost a lot of my friends this way because they do something like this and I stop talking to them because I'm not hear to help them every second they want it. Most people then call me a "dick" for it and my question is aren't they the "dick's" in this situation? What can a person with sever social anxiety do to meet new people that will be as nice to me as I am to them? I'm not asking someone to kiss my ass I just don't want to walked on for the rest of my life.