Frozen Depression

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Chargette, Dec 9, 2014.

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  1. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    For a few days in a row now, I have waken up in a state of frozen depression. The kind of depression where nothing functions. This is the kind of depression where one sleeps all day long. I made myself get up this morning to get rid of the negative thought pattern of "I'm no good." I struggled to move, go to the bathroom, wash my hands and face, and drag a brush through my desperately needing to be washed hair. I kept moving, the Holy Spirit running a gospel hymn through my mind to remind me I'm a child of God. I made myself microwave some soup, wash the coffee pot, and start the coffee.

    I took the garden compost outside while the coffee brewed. There was plenty of dog poop so I got my handheld hoe, old dustpan, and metal container out and collected all the poops along with leaves and added them to the long-term compost pile. (I have 3 compost piles) This is the extent of my daily exercise when I'm deeply depressed.

    Back in the house, I set my painful knees on the floor to open the computer, add a cable to the old hard drive, put it back together, and then struggled to get up. I poured the coffee, turned on the computer, and the computer does not see the old drive. Crap!

    Okay, that's end of that for the day!

    The coffee tastes good and I'm ready to get the soup out of the microwave. As depressed as I am, I have accomplished a few things for the day. After I eat, I'm going to make myself pay bills online. When that is done I'm free to go back to bed if I must.
     
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Good job of realizing the ability is there as soon as the will can be mustered to do the things. Usually when things get really bad that i sho wi end up - stuck until finally realize if i do make the start myself then it just is not going to happen. As impossible as it seems to be able to do it when thinking about it when you do decide to start it is not in fact impossible and the more you keep going the easier it is.

    I wish you continued success in conquering frozen feeling if it returns.
     
  3. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    It's a good post that reminds me to keep going about on routine. It's a well written post and sorry about your knees hurting
     
  4. It is good that you are itemizing the little victories you have. You have to start somewhere. I am also glad that you realize you are a child of God. The hard thing about the Christian life is being patient about God's timing. Keep praying fervently. I will as well. Little victories build into a restoration of your self worth. Understand two things about life: It is not easy, and it is a process or journey you go through. So many times, we get impatient wanting to be completely well as soon as we can be. But enjoy the process of growing little by little. The journey is where the fulfillment lies.
     
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi Chargette, depression definitely does make you feel like doing nothing. I know the feeling all too well. When I was very depressed I found it hard to even brush my teeth and hair. just very simple basic things. Anyway just letting you know you are not alone in feeling this way. I hope you get better :hug:
     
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