Frustrated by depression

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Immental, Feb 4, 2013.

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  1. Immental

    Immental Member

    I don't understand why I feel the way I do. I continue to be depressed despite every intervention imaginable, including a weekly DBT group. There are times when I'm suicidal and times that I self harm. This weekend my thoughts went from suicide, then to self-harm. I feel like no one understands me and nor do I.:help:

    I've been on sick leave for about 2.5 months now and hospitalized 2 times during this time. The thought of going back to work creates a lot of anxiety, so I don't know when I'll go back. The 1st hospitalization was because of an overdose that landed me in the ICU and the 2nd was because of an overdose that was intercepted by my husband. My husband has issued an ultimatum saying he will leave me if there are anymore overdoses. His ultimatum scares me since I'm usually preoccupied with overdosing.

    I'm very fortunate to have what I have, but I'm still depressed. I have my husband and my son. I have a great job and a nice house.

    One thing really bothering me is a CPS investigation. CPS won't let me be alone with my son because they're worried I will either kill myself or my son. I told them that I can guarantee I would never hurt my son. My Therapist and Psychiatrist both said I wouldn't hurt my son. This is killing me. When can I be alone with him? The caseworker from CPS won't return my calls.

    Diagnosis: Major Depressive Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder

    Current meds are: 1200 mg Lithium, 400 mg Seroquel, 150 mg Seroquel PRN,
    Prozac 40 mg, Wellbutrin 150 mg, Levothyroxine 100 mg

    Does anyone have suggestions for me? I'm frustrated that I'm not getting better.
     
  2. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    Sorry only a response to one part. May not be a good idea to call CPS. If the caseworker doesn't have much experience with mental health issues s/he might be misinterpreting your calls/ the fact you're calling. Can you use your therapist or psychiatrist to liaise? Your distress is totally understandable.
     
  3. Immental

    Immental Member

    Thanks for your response. CPS got back to me today. They need to talk to my husband, therapist, and my psychiatrist. I'll see what happens from there.
     
  4. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    So glad. Keep on visiting. Explore the site. ATM you need to get as much support as you can to help you feel better and see your child. Don't know what it's like where you live but here the pressure on caseworkers NEVER to make a mistake can make it incredibly tough for parents.
     
  5. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    I bet that your husband thinks by telling you this, that he will help you, by not wanting to make another attempt. While he could just be exhausted from the worrying on the surface, on a deeper level, I believe that he wants you to live. As I have been in your position (similar) before, I know that hearing this news in this form or fashion is not necessarily music to one's ears... So, I feel great sympathy for you. Just try to understand that he doesn't understand what you're going through.
     
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