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Frustrated with my pain

Fleurise

Whenever life plants you, bloom with grace.
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#1
For months now I've been trying to work on a schedule for housework, exercise, personal care and classes.
Doing my schedule has been off and on and pretty much depends on depression, energy or pain.
I'm realising that I can't do everything.
I can choose to exercise and do classes. Or housework and personal care. I have things that are extremely hard for me to do.
Yesterday I did two loads of washing. Went out with mum for short trip grocery shopping. Then remade the bed with clean sheets. I had rests in between doing things. Was ok until I made the bed.
Neck in high pain afterwards.
Feeling at a loss. I tried explaining to my support person today. I suggested that I might need home help. Felt like my feelings were invalidated. They Called me out on it like I haven't been trying. Actually said if I did more exercise and less sitting around it would help. To be fair I sit around a bit. But they know I've been wobbly and struggling since the mild concussion. Even typing this is making me upset again. I cried for half an hour after that conversation. It's so hard when no one understands.
 

Petal

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#2
*hug She was a bit mean hun. From your post, you are obviously trying hard, her words were too harsh imo, tell her you have been trying and ask her not to undermine your situation if you feel able to, if you feel you need the home help, keep pushing the subject and do not let them fob you off. So sorry to hear you are struggling and in so much pain. Well done for getting some of the chores done, you're doing awesome.

I hope you're feeling a bit better now, love and hugs *hug 💕💕
 

Fleurise

Whenever life plants you, bloom with grace.
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#3
Not really doing any better 3½ hours sleep full of bad dreams. Still in massive pain. I do have a doctors appointment booked for the 23rd of September. Doctor is away until then. I also cancelled my class by text yesterday (exercise class) haven't received a reply back. Really just need some space from the support person at Beverley House to try settle my feelings down.
 

Freya

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#4
Hi @Fleurise I am sorry you are having such terrible pain and feel so unheard. I think when someone is not living with pain themselves it is easy to dismiss it as more minor than it is. Do you mind me asking what is causing your pain? (sorry if this is something that I should know). Do you know if you qualify for help around the house etc? (I am not sure what the criteria are for that - I suspect it is incredibly underfunded) Are there any particular tasks more likely to cause pain than others? (sorry for the multitude of questions)
 

Fleurise

Whenever life plants you, bloom with grace.
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#5
Hi @Freya I have fibromyalgia and osteoarthritis. Neck and back vertebrae are affected. Also have blackouts of unknown cause. I don't know if I qualify for home help and yes it is really hard to get here. Some tasks do cause more pain, changing sheets, mopping or sweeping the floor, vacuuming. Depends on the day others can be hard but I manage those ones such as hanging out washing (reaching up for the clothesline as well as looking up can cause dizziness and pain). Washing dishes if I stand in one place for too long it hurts but can be managed.
I don't mind answering questions.
 

Freya

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#6
Ouch - gosh that sounds nasty! What is it that the support person thinks that exercise would help? (I know nothing about either of these conditions, sorry!). Do you know what it is about sheets and doing the floor in various ways (mopping, vacuuming etc) that causes more pain? I am wondering if anything can be modified / adjusted to help with the things that cause extra pain. Maybe you can ask your doctor what the requirements are to qualify for home help when you see them? I am so sorry that you hurt so much - it sounds like you are doing far more housework than I am so that is a little embarrassing but you should be proud of yourself for what you are achieving. I am sorry that you got such a poor response from your support person - I don't blame you at all for being upset *hug
 

Fleurise

Whenever life plants you, bloom with grace.
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#7
I found the link but unsure if I qualify.
https://www.health.govt.nz/your-hea...m-i-eligible-ministry-funded-support-services

I'm overweight so I guess the exercise thing was referring to that. Would love to loose some but wobbly during the last month since my mild concussion. Staff also know that.
A lot of the pain caused by changing sheets is again to do with movement of my neck and how the angle of my head is, much like the washing machine. Floors the mopping sweeping hands get sore hard to explain the type of pain. Vacuuming again it's about the angle of neck head and moving things around.
Yesterday's response left me wondering lots of different things, am I lazy, do I deserve to feel this way, also is my bpd coming out of remission. Very hard to understand or think of any solutions.
 

Freya

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#8
You don't deserve to feel this way - nobody does. You do not sound remotely lazy to me - please don't start second guessing yourself with negativity. You can only do what you can and nobody can ask for more. You deserve kindness and compassion.
 

Fleurise

Whenever life plants you, bloom with grace.
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#9
Thank you Freya I'm trying not to allow myself to head down hill.
 

Fleurise

Whenever life plants you, bloom with grace.
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#13
Interesting article @may71 I've bookmarked it to reread later thanks.
Things work a little different here in New Zealand, I don't have health insurance as public hospitals are free. Means that I do need to pay for things like acupuncture.
 

Fleurise

Whenever life plants you, bloom with grace.
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#16
Better than I was, I have pulled out of the three exercise classes so I have more time and energy to focus on things at home. I have a doctors appointment booked for the 23rd of September to ask about a referral for assessment for home help and full spinal X-ray. Was sick over the last weekend but recovered by Wednesday. Took my first trip on the bus into town in over a year on Wednesday. So I've proved I can bus to my doctors.
Still having issues with pain neck and shoulders in particular. So I'll just have to see what the doctor says.
Thank you for checking how things are going.
 

Fleurise

Whenever life plants you, bloom with grace.
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#18
Waiting at doctors for my appointment time. I'm pretty nervous but will update later about if anything is possible.
 

Fleurise

Whenever life plants you, bloom with grace.
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#20
Doctors appointment went well, he is going to make a referral for an assessment for home help. Might be a month before I hear anything.
He is also sending a request for cervical and thoracic spine X-ray's to check for further degeneration. Should be around a three week wait.
Glad I went, I found the doctor very understanding and compassionate.
 

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