No no no no no i just can't even fucking say it or express my limbs feel heavy but every part of my feels squirmy and fidgety and chronically uncomfortable but still i feel so exhausted i caouldn't be bothered even getting out of bed today. i don't feel any emotions inside i don't even feel suicidal just like i want to sleep forever. i can't cry or scream or talk or go outside. i'm so confused and scared, i get mixed up between dreams and reality and my dreams are so warped and dark that the fear bleeds into my ordinary life and then i wake up i feel so down. i just wish i could cry or feel something and i wish i could these flashbacks of bad moments out of my head. i wish i could stay here not constantly worry or actually, literally act out my future, like i actually spend hours in my head having inmiginary converstions with people that don't exist. i just wish it was 1988 and i was in my mother's womb...it sounds insane, totally insane but that's what i imagine.