Getting a loved one to even consider they have a problem

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by tigerpaws, May 4, 2013.

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  1. tigerpaws

    tigerpaws Member

    Its been almost two weeks since my wife and I had a huge argument. She called 911 and I got arrested. She has a restraining order against me and I can't go anywhere near her or my kids.

    So to save my self I went seeking help. First to a therapist that suggested I look up hypomania, my wife might have it. She suffers from hypothyroidism and low progesterone. She is taking meds for both, but she has gotten so bad lately. She does such impulsive things, spends money like crazy, snaps off at me or the kids. Others she works with have noticed the way she snaps and especially the way she yells at me.

    I also went to see a psychiatrist. He treats my son for ADHD. We went over my meds that my family dr had given me for panic attacks and anxiety. He adjusted the dosage, up to 200mg of zoloft once a day. Added colnazapam (sp?) 0.5mg twice a day to smooth out my anxiety issues. And if I have a really bad attack, take a 1mg xanax. So this past week I have been trying to adjust to the meds.

    The psychiatrist did not meet with my wife or treat her, but did say there was enough there to look deeper into. Such as a mood disorder or bi-polar. The single biggest issue is that she won't even consider she has anything wrong with her. It is all me.

    She seems to cycle like crazy, between being OK and almost psychotic when she in manic. I don't want to just walk away. I want to get help, for both of us and our two wonderful children. I just don't know how to get the help.

    Tonight I feel like I have reached the end of any hope. I'll just get cleaned out in a divorce, banned from seeing my kids and have to start all over. Right now life really sucks!
  2. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Re: Getting a loved on to even consider they have a problem

    hi. sorry things are so hard right now. Sometimes in treatment of a child, the family is asked to go into treatment. For the sake of the child. Even if the parents think there is nothing wrong with their behaviors or health. So perhaps a wise psychiatrist might be able to get her into therapy under the guise of it helping her son. Even though she has nothing wrong with her. as she would say. I understand that you suspect she may be manic or bipolar. Or psychotic. But maybe covert is the way a psychiatrist can proceede to get her in there and talking. Considering the best interest of her/your son is at risk here. If that fails, I wonder if for your childs health the psychiatrist may be able to mandate it, if he cannot covertly get her into treatment because of your son? I do not know. But is your son's mental stability at risk because of his mom's condition?
  3. edwny

    edwny CM Friend And Antiquities Friend

    Re: Getting a loved on to even consider they have a problem

    Dear Tiger,

    Your situation details frightening parallels to my own. I have experienced much of what you are going through, and its indescribably stressing to deal with (hence, me being on this site). I cannot tell you I have the answers, but perhaps I can share some of the perspective that my ordeal has helped me realize.

    1. It’s not entirely her fault. My wife, with whom I am in the process of wrapping up a divorce, suffers from a scitzoeffective disorder. In addition, there are probably thyroid and other age related hormonal issues at play. These are not simply aggressive personalities we are dealing with. They have emotionally devastating conditions that render them unable to act in a healthy and rational manner. Not only do they hurt themselves, but everyone in their life; the closer, the deeper. They often cannot see that it is not the other people around them causing the problem.

    1. The situation may not have been caused by you, but (as with myself) how you react to it is your responsibility. It is good that you are getting help with this. In order to help her (should the opportunity arise) or your children, you have to be as well and strong as you can manage. I can’t help anyone if I cannot sustain my own well being.

    The financial, emotional and familial devastation that have been wrought by both her actions and my unhealthy reactions only add an additional burden on the situation. This is unfair, but you and I both have to deal with these things in order to survive ourselves, help the others that have been affected, and rebuild our lives.

    I feel for you my friend, and wish I could offer more concrete solutions. Perhaps the fact that we can face the problem without blinders is the most important step in finding them.

    Hang In There. They say better days are coming.
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