getting ahead of yourself/taking it one day at a time

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by isd, Jan 16, 2010.

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  1. isd

    isd Well-Known Member

    i had a couple of better (calmer) days this week. and as soon as i get a break from depression my mind starts wondering. for example i was thinking about going on holiday to a different country, and would love the idea. so i'm almost making plans to do this. but i know that this is not possible with my state of mind. so when the depression returns it's like a harder fall from a place where i'm making plans for the future to the stark reality, and i'm thinking to myself what the fuck was i talking about, going abroad. i only get out of the house 1 to 2 hours every week. i have some agrophobia. so how the fuck am i going to take a holiday

    i wouldn't last a second. so i hate when my mind wanders and makes these fucking stupid plans that i know i can't make, just because i had a relatively good day. it's like i've lost focus on the plan which is to take each day as it comes.

    taking each day as it comes is a phrase i've heard a lot, and is something i believe in, but it's incredibly hard - i find - to really do this day after day. like you have to keep focus, on getting through the day and not making these plans. just get through another day and get to bed.

    for a depressed person sometimes i even think hope is your enemy (because it builds you up, ready to be knocked down), in fact any form of thinking. i think the only ally is not thinking at all about things. living life in an isolated state means there is so much time to think, and there always seems a price for it
     
  2. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    I agree that the positive thoughts can make each down cycle harder. It happens to me a lot. I've decided to let it be day dreaming for fun. I knit and crochet for the realistic things I can do.
     
  3. isd

    isd Well-Known Member

    hi chargette


    yes there is a fine line between daydreaming, and just fantasizing is suppose.

    knit and crochetting sound quite therapautic. i almost considered taking them up one or two time. would make quite an image because i am six foot three skinhead and look like a total thug (not by choice)
     
  4. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    :) It's plenty cool to learn to do a yarn craft. Another yarn craft is weaving. I'm using cardboard looms right now to learn weaving. I'm also building a small Navaho loom that I'll be able to weave scarfs and wraps (shawls) on. There are men on ravelry.com who knit and crochet and they do some real cool stuff. A man's sense of design is different and very refreshing. I hope you give it a try.
     
  5. isd

    isd Well-Known Member

    sounds like you are very into it. i'm trying to get back into reading at the moment. but going to have a think about knitting maybe some time in the future. maybe start with a scarf
     
  6. isd

    isd Well-Known Member

    it's about banking positive energy on a good day, and not misusing it, because it is very scarce. because when the energy is low or just completely gone then the depression is free to do whatever it wants, and there is no defense.
     
  7. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    Banking positive energy is a good way to put it. I preserve my energy by not doing too much and napping when I can.
     
  8. isd

    isd Well-Known Member

    yes, napping/sleeping is important. i get some not so nice dreams, but generally being in bed is the safest place i know.

    one thing i would like to do more off is getting myself into bed if the depression hits. sometimes it comes late in my day, and i am like a rabbit in headlights and can not get myself to bed, and stay up with bad depression, and suffer
     
  9. isd

    isd Well-Known Member

    slow, slow, slow
     
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