So I was ghosted by someone for quite a while, they then contacted me like nothing was wrong, when I let them know how upset I was by this not only did they get mad at me but also have involved others behind my back like I am an idiot or something and would not notice. I am so fucking sick of people treating me like fucking shit then getting mad and pissy with me for defending myself. I am not the one in the wrong here they are, yet they are making it all about them and how horrible I am. This is why I fucking hate people, why I stopped trying to make friends for some reason I am an asshole magnet, all the fucking assholes in the world seem to gravitate towards me. FFS I graduated high school over 20yrs ago, why do I still have to deal with high school drama? It just never ends.
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ghosting
- Thread starter Astrid78
- Start date
People are really strange - I'm sorry someone you thought was trustworthy did this. I don't like to call it ghosting because it - well I think it should have a stronger word but that is not important.
When I get irked or upset with a person I think nature intended us to express and then participate in connecting to whatever the next stage is for the relationship.
The person doesn't deserve your friendship. I hope that you have healing from the situation @Astrid78 . It is solitude for me which is such a literal balm. Not saying it's the best for you or others.
hug
When I get irked or upset with a person I think nature intended us to express and then participate in connecting to whatever the next stage is for the relationship.
The person doesn't deserve your friendship. I hope that you have healing from the situation @Astrid78 . It is solitude for me which is such a literal balm. Not saying it's the best for you or others.
hug
@Astrid78 — 
The world has a lot of very strange people who behave badly towards others. I’m sorry you have met so many of them! It really hurts to feel as though someone thinks they can be rotten to us and then act as if it didn’t happen, doesn’t matter. And if we mention it, they get mad and pissy. I have also experienced people like that.
My “solution” after 65 years of life is people get one free pass for bad behaviour. Maybe just maybe they had something of their own going on that in their head overrode being polite, courteous and considerate. If they do it a second time and I have not done anything at all to deserve it, I do my best to limit interactions with them. They are not going to change — they did it a second time! Given the chance, it’s likely they would do it a third time. I always hope for an apology or a discussion, but I sure as hell don’t expect one. And usually, it doesn’t happen. If I raise the subject, I get more crap from them, so after a second time, I just avoid the person as much as possible. How they behave is a reflection of them, not of me. How other behave is not a reflection of you.
Such discussions with that sort of person in my past experiences have rarely led to anything except them justifying themselves with crappy excuses.
If you don’t have to have or need to have this person in your life, maybe you can just limit or cease all future interactions. I know it’s not a satisfying result and it doesn’t resolve what happened in the past. It does reduce the chance of future hurt from the same person.
You deserve to have good people around you. Someone who ghosts you and then acts as if nothing happened and then thinks your being upset is an undue response doesn’t deserve your kindness or friendship.
I’m sorry you had this happen. I will send vibes and good wishes that you meet kinder and more respectful people from now on.
The world has a lot of very strange people who behave badly towards others. I’m sorry you have met so many of them! It really hurts to feel as though someone thinks they can be rotten to us and then act as if it didn’t happen, doesn’t matter. And if we mention it, they get mad and pissy. I have also experienced people like that.
My “solution” after 65 years of life is people get one free pass for bad behaviour. Maybe just maybe they had something of their own going on that in their head overrode being polite, courteous and considerate. If they do it a second time and I have not done anything at all to deserve it, I do my best to limit interactions with them. They are not going to change — they did it a second time! Given the chance, it’s likely they would do it a third time. I always hope for an apology or a discussion, but I sure as hell don’t expect one. And usually, it doesn’t happen. If I raise the subject, I get more crap from them, so after a second time, I just avoid the person as much as possible. How they behave is a reflection of them, not of me. How other behave is not a reflection of you.
Such discussions with that sort of person in my past experiences have rarely led to anything except them justifying themselves with crappy excuses.
If you don’t have to have or need to have this person in your life, maybe you can just limit or cease all future interactions. I know it’s not a satisfying result and it doesn’t resolve what happened in the past. It does reduce the chance of future hurt from the same person.
You deserve to have good people around you. Someone who ghosts you and then acts as if nothing happened and then thinks your being upset is an undue response doesn’t deserve your kindness or friendship.
I’m sorry you had this happen. I will send vibes and good wishes that you meet kinder and more respectful people from now on.
Sorry to hear this happened. I've made my own threads about the pain of ghosting, people don't really like it when you call them out so they turn it around on you. I'm sorry this is so painful for you, it's horrible that we need/want people in our lives and yet often feel we'd be better off on a desert island alone (albeit with some music and internet). Sending you 
Sorry @Astrid78 - I have my own issues with this as a friend of 20+ years periodically ghosts me, often for months. Afterwards she just says she was in the dumps. So anyway... she is a good friend in many ways and has even loaned me a very large sum of money which I repaid. So I'm willing to overlook the ghosting but it does bug me. I know she does it to other people as well.
I have mixed feelings about cutting off friends. I've done it but I feel like people have their flaws and so do I, and I'm not always willing to cut them off. Maybe move them from the top tier of your friends though, if that makes sense? If I'm not a priority to them, maybe they are not a priority to me.
I have mixed feelings about cutting off friends. I've done it but I feel like people have their flaws and so do I, and I'm not always willing to cut them off. Maybe move them from the top tier of your friends though, if that makes sense? If I'm not a priority to them, maybe they are not a priority to me.
I'm sorry that you were treated like this. Wow, I can't believe the person got so defensive, probably because they know they were in the wrong. You definitely didn't deserve that. Sounds very self-centered on their part Astrid.
I hope you don't take it to heart too much and can move on. It's not about you, it's about them and their poor behaviour. You are a good person. And good on you for sticking up for yourself.
I hope you don't take it to heart too much and can move on. It's not about you, it's about them and their poor behaviour. You are a good person. And good on you for sticking up for yourself.
@Astrid78 —
The world has a lot of very strange people who behave badly towards others. I’m sorry you have met so many of them! It really hurts to feel as though someone thinks they can be rotten to us and then act as if it didn’t happen, doesn’t matter. And if we mention it, they get mad and pissy. I have also experienced people like that.
My “solution” after 65 years of life is people get one free pass for bad behaviour. Maybe just maybe they had something of their own going on that in their head overrode being polite, courteous and considerate. If they do it a second time and I have not done anything at all to deserve it, I do my best to limit interactions with them. They are not going to change — they did it a second time! Given the chance, it’s likely they would do it a third time. I always hope for an apology or a discussion, but I sure as hell don’t expect one. And usually, it doesn’t happen. If I raise the subject, I get more crap from them, so after a second time, I just avoid the person as much as possible. How they behave is a reflection of them, not of me. How other behave is not a reflection of you.
Such discussions with that sort of person in my past experiences have rarely led to anything except them justifying themselves with crappy excuses.
If you don’t have to have or need to have this person in your life, maybe you can just limit or cease all future interactions. I know it’s not a satisfying result and it doesn’t resolve what happened in the past. It does reduce the chance of future hurt from the same person.
You deserve to have good people around you. Someone who ghosts you and then acts as if nothing happened and then thinks your being upset is an undue response doesn’t deserve your kindness or friendship.
I’m sorry you had this happen. I will send vibes and good wishes that you meet kinder and more respectful people from now on.
The world has a lot of very strange people who behave badly towards others. I’m sorry you have met so many of them! It really hurts to feel as though someone thinks they can be rotten to us and then act as if it didn’t happen, doesn’t matter. And if we mention it, they get mad and pissy. I have also experienced people like that.
My “solution” after 65 years of life is people get one free pass for bad behaviour. Maybe just maybe they had something of their own going on that in their head overrode being polite, courteous and considerate. If they do it a second time and I have not done anything at all to deserve it, I do my best to limit interactions with them. They are not going to change — they did it a second time! Given the chance, it’s likely they would do it a third time. I always hope for an apology or a discussion, but I sure as hell don’t expect one. And usually, it doesn’t happen. If I raise the subject, I get more crap from them, so after a second time, I just avoid the person as much as possible. How they behave is a reflection of them, not of me. How other behave is not a reflection of you.
Such discussions with that sort of person in my past experiences have rarely led to anything except them justifying themselves with crappy excuses.
If you don’t have to have or need to have this person in your life, maybe you can just limit or cease all future interactions. I know it’s not a satisfying result and it doesn’t resolve what happened in the past. It does reduce the chance of future hurt from the same person.
You deserve to have good people around you. Someone who ghosts you and then acts as if nothing happened and then thinks your being upset is an undue response doesn’t deserve your kindness or friendship.
I’m sorry you had this happen. I will send vibes and good wishes that you meet kinder and more respectful people from now on.
Thanks Acy for saying this and for being there
My oldest son tells me I am "overly humble" and "too forgiving" he shakes his head at me when I defend people treating me like this...
Thanks Acy for saying this and for being there
Thanks Acy for saying this and for being there
Maybe the challenge is that I’ve given chances at my own expense. Maybe that is what upsets your oldest son…that you have been hurt along the way. I’m glad he cares about you!
