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Give yourself credit for being alive.

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When healing from the pain that caused my suicidal thoughts I discovered something major. That the pain actually follows you into the afterlife. There are many views about what happens to the soul of a person after death I am aware and I am in no way trying to preach to you, but this thought helped me big time.

A month or two ago I had this dream of myself and some departed people, we all lived in this building a hospital maybe and everyone there was at peace and calm and got along with each other. I was not like them. I was screaming and crying yet no one heard me. I wanted my mom and she was there but I couldn't get to her and it was such a painful feeling. It made me sick when I woke up from it.

The same morning I went downstairs and my mom had the television on, a talk show, and they had a guest of a physic medium (Long Island Medium). She started reading people in the audience about their deceased beloved. Not one of the souls she read had committed suicide, but it got me thinking about it especially with that dream I had woke from.

So after the show I went upstairs and researched what a medium's perspective on suicide was. I mean they talk to the dead and someone had to have come across someone who committed. Well I found an article and it brought me to tears. I'm not a crazy obsessed believer when it comes to mediums and that kind of stuff but regardless it helped.

If I can find the article again I will link it below.

The main thing this woman said is that when you take your life to escape the pain, it doesn't go away like some of us think it might. It follows us. She said that the souls she has be confronted with, (that have ended themselves) are sad and isolated and they hang around their families or love ones who mourn over their death. They scream there, they cry there, and there it's darker because you truly are alone.

This made me realize that there is no way to rid the darkness that is within us. That pain is a harsh lesson that we have to battle unfortunately.

I know some people who are alone, no family, no friends, no support. But if you are at this website know that is one thing you have. This website is like a huge caring team. Here you are not alone. It's hard to live, but here you are reading this and be proud of yourself for being able to do just that. Give your self credit for finding a place like this. Give yourself credit for even waking up and getting out of bed even if it was just to use the restroom. You are breathing and you are relevant. If not to anyone in "real life", then to us you are.
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