Giving it all up.

[Larrymyster]

I can’t live anymore. I threw everything away. Slowly but it’s now over. I came to a screeching halt. My life is now in shambles. My last leg is broken, and who is it to blame? Me of course! I just don’t want to continue on. My heart is permanently broken with no hope for the future. No aspirations or goals. My dreams are in the gutter. I’m a looser. The future I sat long sailed 3 years ago. My real me died. I’m a shell of my past self.

I quit work because I reflected that I am not worthy to drive a semi truck anymore and I have poor work ethics. My closest buddies gave me that job basically and I said, friend, we can’t be friends anymore because i can’t live with the thought that I let him down like I did so many other people. I’m a born loser ready to die because I f***** up with no end in sight of my life ever improving. I absolutely threw it all away.

just a falling rock
I hate myself so much yet I don’t want to harm myself or others? How does that make sense? Why do I like to suffer? Why was I even born? I was born as a joke.

my birth certificate shouldn’t be a certificate. Should be an apology letter to the world to having me exist

 

[Patrick Gill]

I'm sorry to hear things are so dreadful for you right now. Have you sought treatment or any other kind of help?

 

[alice202]

Larrymyster your post breaks my heart. Can you reach out for someone to talk to in person? You need love and support.

Even when all is lost and you feel you are at rock bottom things can turn around. Please keep posting and saying how you are feeling here... we care.

Your life is precious, please do not throw it away.

Alice

 

[Atreides]

I'm sorry you feel the way you do. You seem to be down on yourself, but I sense that you're a good person. If you were a bad person you wouldn't be concerned how your actions effect others. I hope you get to feeling better. You'll be in my thoughts. Just remember SF is here for you.

 

[SamB]

None of the things you describe would devalue you as a person to me.
Have you had any medical intervention or therapy? That may or may not help but it would be worth trying before you end things in my opinion.

 

[littlebears]

Not many people would be comfortable driving semis. It's ok, U tried and now you know. You'll find something eventually just go easy on yourself.

 

[KM76710]

The fact that you don't want to harm yourself and more importantly others is a good and telling sign about you.

 

[Larrymyster]

The fact that you don't want to harm yourself and more importantly others is a good and telling sign about you.

This has recently changed I started writing the letter, i think we both know what letter that is without saying the S word.

 

[full]

This has recently changed I started writing the letter, i think we both know what letter that is without saying the S word.

Brother, let's talk. Write a letter, it might makevthings clearer but please stay with us, give it time. Some of us are managening for years and if you stck around you'll see this site is filled with wonderful members who just like you came here in the time when we wanted to end it all and in due coyrse of time we found here support and love we were lacking. Sending you strenght and good vibes

 

[Marga]

 

[Marga]

I can sense you are a nice person. Is there anything you like to do, like do you have some hobbies? Pets?