Im just going in circles, i get better then one small thing happens and i lose it again. Im so weak, so fragile! I just want to go to sleep all day, all night...and get him to wake me up when he wants me, and when this is all over...and if its always going to b this way, i dont want to wake up at all. Life shouldnt b such a struggle, especially at this age. Ive tried everything a million times...its hopeless!
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Going in circles
- Thread starter Shauna Lea
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Thanx guys
I've seen a few counsellors in the past, none of them were of much help. One of them even seemed humoured by my situation. Ive been on a few different sorts of medication, again didnt see that they helped too much. My friends and family find it very difficult to understand and accept that im like this. People seem to blow it off becase of how THEY see my life. In high school I was voted most popular, most dateable and nicest girl (plus some other stuff like biggest smart arse hehe). I've got awsome parents, lots of friend....so people just think im the kind of girl with an easy life. On the outside it may seem like that, but from where I am, its a mess. My head is cluttered with a million thoughts, and i just cant seemt to pull myself out of this. I want help and i have asked, but its not enough. I need something else...but i dont know what...
I dont even kno how to explain it. Its so hard to find the words...Im sorry :sad:
I've seen a few counsellors in the past, none of them were of much help. One of them even seemed humoured by my situation. Ive been on a few different sorts of medication, again didnt see that they helped too much. My friends and family find it very difficult to understand and accept that im like this. People seem to blow it off becase of how THEY see my life. In high school I was voted most popular, most dateable and nicest girl (plus some other stuff like biggest smart arse hehe). I've got awsome parents, lots of friend....so people just think im the kind of girl with an easy life. On the outside it may seem like that, but from where I am, its a mess. My head is cluttered with a million thoughts, and i just cant seemt to pull myself out of this. I want help and i have asked, but its not enough. I need something else...but i dont know what...
I dont even kno how to explain it. Its so hard to find the words...Im sorry :sad:
A
If a girl loved me, especially if she loved me as much as Shauna has shown love for her boyfriend, then I'd want to be serious in the relationship. I find it honorable that Shauna has put so much love into her relationship with her boyfriend. More girls should take the example of her and try to be more loving and loyal to their boyfriends. The only issue I have with Shauna is that I think she tried too much and for too long of time for him, considering how horribly he neglected her. Shauna, I'm proud of you for trying not to allow his neglect to bother you as much as it did. :hug:
Thanx kurt! It means alot to know u think so highly of me.
Its not even totally about that n e more tho, its just this weakness i have. Sometimes there will b no reason and i just break down into tears...and there is no1 to turn to, like i said, people wont accept that im not the girl they think i am. And on here i feel pressure, i dont want to let anyone down :sad:
Its not even totally about that n e more tho, its just this weakness i have. Sometimes there will b no reason and i just break down into tears...and there is no1 to turn to, like i said, people wont accept that im not the girl they think i am. And on here i feel pressure, i dont want to let anyone down :sad:
R
Just wanted to let you know that if you need a friend you are welcome to pm me. I disagree that you should have to force someone to love you. love should come naturally if not easy. Everyone is entitled to how they feel and you are not harming anyone with your feelings, if you have noone in the real world you can talk to then I am glad you have found this site and are using it to reach out. Let people care in their own way and gain support from those who wish to offer it.
A
It seems to be that this society is almost constantly marketing the action of uncaring and uncompassion, disloyalty and disregared in relationships. Shauna, from what you've told me, you've done everything a person in a relationship should do. You have tried to love and support your boyfriend, which at times, he showed love and support back to you, and at other times, he did not. The problem is, that he hurt you so much, enough so which caused you to decide to search for a suicide site for support. SF is a great site, and is very supportive, though the support shouldn't have been from us, it should have been from your boyfriend. I am happy you discovered SF, and I hope it helps you, however, it is sad that your boyfriend wouldn't show you enough appreciation to help you from even thinking about you ending your life. :hug:
I really do relate to this. I gave my ex chances he should never have had (people have said that it should have never got past the first date with how he treated me), gave him money when he needed, gave him the gifts that he wanted, went places with him and did things that I really didn't want to go and do, held and comforted him when he cried and was practically at his beck and call. Hell, even when he broke up with me (approx 10 hours after I'd had a nervous breakdown) I still loved the guy, I still do (even tho he's with someone else) and I would still do anything for him.
I hope that things turn out okay for you Shauna - if not better :hug:
I also hope that your boyfriend is a bit brighter than my ex, and works out that support really is a two way thing :dry:
I hope that things turn out okay for you Shauna - if not better :hug:
I also hope that your boyfriend is a bit brighter than my ex, and works out that support really is a two way thing :dry:
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