Going to kill myself because I am hideous.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by JustKindaThere, Jul 3, 2016.

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  1. JustKindaThere

    JustKindaThere Well-Known Member

    View attachment 129 I'm an ugly person. This is fact. I had a friendship with someone who used me to do sexual things on webcam with them. They lied to me about attractive they found me though, after telling me I was beautiful. I'd always told them if we ever met they'd most likely think I was ugly in person. They said I was wrong, but they were lying. They never found me attractive at all really.

    I'm an extremely ugly girl. And I mean extreme. I've been told that I'm ugly since I was nine years old. I have a massive nose, and disgusting teeth. I have an oddly squared shaped head with small, thin lips. And to top all this shit off I'm aging like fuck because of extremely poor sleep due to mental issues, so my face is sagging, making it look even more weirdly shaped. My hair has been falling out due to stress, I used to have long, thick pretty hair. Now it's thin, flat and my hairline is receding, making my forehead look even bigger.

    If I don't get cosmetic surgery to at least reduce the size of my nose, and have my teeth improved, I'm going to kill myself over the next few months. I'm 100% serious.

    I can't stand being ugly. I hate being an ugly person. I want to be beautiful. If I can't then I just don't see any point in being alive. I actually fucking hate beautiful people. I hate every single one of you. You have just no idea what it is like to be this miserable and be totally consumed by self-hatred every single day. Don't give me this fucking bullshit that "beauty comes from the inside" or whatever. I don't believe in that shit. Being a nice person does not change your physical appearance. And looks do matter, a lot. Hence why ugly people like me are constantly bullied about it. I can make myself look semi-decent with make up on, but that's it.

    I can't stand this. I can't even stand sitting here. I hate my face so much. Why couldn't I just be fucking pretty. I attached my photo for the curious people. <mod edit - images removed - against forum policy>

    Tl;dr I'm extremely ugly and want to die.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 3, 2016
  2. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hideous? Nice adjective to use to describe ones looks. I will say that as with most things in life, its a matter of opinion and my opinion just happens to differ to your own. Its pointless me wasting our time telling you you are not ugly or hideous because you aint gonna listen anyway. You have this image of yourself and nothing I can say or do will change that. But for the record, I disagree with you on how you look.

    I really am sad and angry that anyone from this place could treat you so badly and just use you and abuse you for their own sick needs/wants.

    If wearing make up makes you feel even slightly better about your appearance, then do it, wear it, whenever and wherever you want to. I look in the mirror and if I see my unshaven face, it reminds me of my brother who I dont like very much [polite version] so I have to shave. I shave most days because of that. It makes me feel a little better about myself.

    You are really gonna hate me as I am beautiful inside and out..............and pigs can fly dont ya know!
     
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  3. Kid B

    Kid B Well-Known Member

    You have rather a pretty face in fact.

    Anyone who cannot see that must be dumb, drunk or a liar.

    Most of us will be unhappy about our size or shape or hair or whatever.

    There are lots of improvements out there if you really believe it is what you need.

    First and foremost you are a person in your own right and a lovely person no doubt.

    The Ugly Duckling fable (Hans Christian Andersen) might be a good analogy here.

    Some people judge books by covers but plenty do not thankfully.

    I wish you happiness and please post back in your thread to let us know how you are doing.
     
    iam likes this.
  4. Huw

    Huw Well-Known Member

    I'd say that the things you were asked to do were ugly and now you feel the effects of that ugliness. Welcome to the club called humanity. You are in the process of being taught the lesson of cause and effect. That you can't just do as you, or someone else, pleases and be free of emotional impact. You can learn from this and move on or you can stay in the place of self loathing. I hope you can learn not to make the same mistake again. That you move on just one step at a time. You can't turn back the clock so that choice has been made for you.
     
  5. CGMAngel

    CGMAngel Well-Known Member

    Hi - You are a complete stranger to me, and yet somehow you have managed to write my life-story in your post! (Well, except for the looking "semi-decent with make up on" part. Few males can accomplish that...)

    There is ugliness in the world, but it is not on your face. It is in the poison exuding from pathetically weak people like the one you met on here. The sensitive among us absorb all the ugliness of others and make it our own. Mental illness is the supreme monster of lies, and we believe every single one of them.

    In your stronger moments, try to step back and objectively ask yourself, "what if my perceived ugliness is not a physical truth, but a chemical distortion from inside my brain?"

    SinisterK is right. No matter what we say, no one but you has the power to change your mind. Yet, just for the hell of it, and because it is so obvious to me, I am going to tell you that you are not ugly.

    Your photo proves it, and your words prove it.
     
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  6. iam

    iam SF Supporter

    This is tough. Because you won't believe anything I say. But you are beautiful.
    You've been hurt by someone who clearly has their own issues, to take advantage of you like that.
    I don't know who would tell a 9 year old girl she was ugly, other kids I expect, they can be so cruel.
    You are beautiful and this is a fact but you won't believe until you feel it on the inside.
    I'm not so good at putting my thoughts into words but I hope you get the message, you are pretty
     
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  7. Inspire&Inquire

    Inspire&Inquire SF Supporter

    Sorry for my earlier post. But I do find you physically beautiful. There's something called body dysmorphic disorder. I was actually diagnosed with it for a time. I think the earlier poster was right, is that maybe you've absorbed a lot of emotional ugliness and its distorted the way you see yourself. I hope you grow out of it as I did.
     
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  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I am so sorry you are feeling the way you are but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. ould you rather be with someone for ''you'' or your looks? Think about that. There's not much I can add to what has already been said but please know we are here for you :)
     
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  9. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I know how you feel, because I feel the same way about myself. Some people have called me attractive, though it's the insults that have stuck with me the most and shaped how I feel about myself. If you already feel that way, any positive reinforcement will fall to the wayside unless you can somehow accept yourself as you are. Sorry to hear about the way that guy treated you. That happens a lot online, guys get what they want and then leave. It sucks but you just need to tell them off if you feel uncomfortable doing something. Never let anyone make you feel inferior or ruin your self-worth. Anyone who judges you for your looks is shallow anyway.
     
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  10. iServe

    iServe Member

    I certainly believe that God doesn't make junk. Have you ever seen a sunset or sunrise, or how about a rainbow after mighty downpour of rain. And of all that he created, He He fashioned and formed us (you and I) after His image and likeness. We/You are beautifully and wonderfully made from the inside out. Reject the lies. The people around us and the feelings within us can be cruel, mean, and completely wrong. Be encouraged and keep your eyes on the truth. Take care!
     
  11. I feel similarly about my appearance. I would be interested in seeing you. I also am aging rapidly and have a flat face. I've had numerous cosmetic procedures and may be killing myself as a result of my latest venture.
     
  12. Vulpes

    Vulpes Member

    i can not see any picture maybe i'm too retarded to find it. Anyways generally speaking: In my experience ugly often comes from the inside. Because people with low self esteem usually have a much more negative image of themselves than others around them. While i agree for women it can be damn tough to be not good looking, men usually can pull that off easier. As i said i can't judge your looks because i can't find a picture but never forget that beauty fades away. People that always could rely on their looks sometimes fail to build something else in their lives and once they are old they can run into trouble (specially women). Imagine you thought yourself as beautiful. what do you do when you become old if you always only relied on that? and what do you do if one day you find someone who loves you the way you are and you ruin everything because you hate yourself so much? Wouldn't that be a waste? How do you want to find someone that respects you if you don't have any self respect? Looks do matter but it's not everything in the world. Think about it. If there was no meaning to it there wouldn't be any ugly people around because evolution would have sorted that out long time ago. And beauty is highly dependant on the culture you live in SPECIALLY for women. In ancient times they liked fat women, then they like women with a special facial time, then they liked skinny women etc. Don't hate yourself so much!