Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by minion, Feb 8, 2016.

  1. minion

    minion Well-Known Member

    As May is soon approaching, I am facing the empty ache in my heart where it used to be whole. As of May it will be two years since I last seen my kids. Circumstances just made it impossible for us to keep them, and our rights were terminated. They weren't even allowed to be with family. Then the day before my son's four birthday, my mom had to tell me that they were adopted. I've missed out on so much, yet my mom is able to see them and spend time with them because of the Grandparent thing. But she doesn't realize that talking about them just stabs the dagger back in my heart every time.

    So to make matters worse, after getting sick off meds and what not, I ended up pregnant. And fearing that the state would take this baby without even asking, I moved out of state. Hell I moved five states away from home. I left everything behind. I packed everything I could fit in my car and drove 23 hour drive to a new place. And started over. My mom then decided that if she kept calling me I'd get homesick and move back, knowing that maybe if she bugged me enough I'd give her the baby.

    So now after the baby is here, she just calls to ask about the baby and how she's lonely for the baby. Not how are you...or what not. But talks about the other two. I'm trying to connect to this baby and it's hard. I see the other two in her and it's hard.

    Just taking it one minute at a time right now.
  2. Fluffypingu

    Fluffypingu Safety and Support Chat Pro SF Supporter

    I am so sorry your feeling this wy huge hugs hun keep fighting for your rights
  3. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    I am so so sorry for that loss, I can't even begin to fathom how it must hurt you.

    I know having your new baby doesn't make up for the loss of your other children, but I am happy to hear about that.
    I wish your mother could be more considerate somehow... Have you in clear terms told her how it makes you feel? Some people don't take to subtle hints but need it spelled out...

  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Keep on taking it a minute at a time because it seems like a very unfortunate and sad, dire situation to be in. How do you feel when you look back at photographs? Is there a way you *could* get them back if you really wanted to. I don't know why they were taken so don't know how to advise. I am really sorry for the situation you are in and you can feel free to talk/vent/rant here anytime you want. I wish the best for you and your children. Maybe one day the situation will have changed.
    AlexiMarie7 likes this.
  5. AlexiMarie7

    AlexiMarie7 Well-Known Member

    This is a painful situation; my heart hurts for you. Keep trying to bond with your new baby and keep doing the best you can with and for her. Though you will probably never forget the physical loss of the others, try to keep your focus on the present and going forward. Maybe some day again you will be able to reunite with/meet your other children but right now this little girl needs all mommy's love and attention. :)

    I hope your mom does understand how she hurts you and stops mentioning them and also pressuring you.