I'm not really sure what I hope to get out of this, I'm just out of options and really need help if anyone has come out the other side of a similar situation. It's been a little over a year since I lost my fiancé to Leukemia. I can't express into words the hole that has been left in my soul, and the rage I feel every single day. I left my entire life behind me, my job, my family and my friends to travel and explore to keep me distracted every moment of every day from the dark thoughts I think everyone here is familiar with. I thought I had to leave everything familiar behind to heal, and I hoped I would find something, or someone else worth throwing down roots for and starting over again on the other side. But that hasn't been the case, If anything it just made my situation worse and I feel like I'm carrying a mountain down a dark tunnel with absolutely no light at the end of it, and I'm so exhausted.