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Guilt finnaly catching up to me.

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Oriax [], Oct 11, 2008.

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  1. Oriax []

    Oriax [] New Member

    Hi,Im 18 living in Pretoria South Africa. This is my general Problem:

    I have been addicted to Painkillers, Opiates and raw opium Resin for 2 straight years now. I dont enjoy my high's anymore, i do what ever the fuck i can everyday to simply "Cope". If i dont take something then i feel like utter filth and shit and constantly think about my next dose.

    Well... last night my dad had found out about my addiction. (I live with him alone in my house doing my last year of school). And now he knows I have been taking his Painkillers secretly and blasting all my cash on drugs - He kicked me out of the house last Night and i had to phone a friend to come pick me up.

    I have stolen from ANYBODY for the past year to satisfy my addiction, but have always been subtle about it and no 1 has ever noticed.

    And just my Fucking luck, I get caught by my Best Friends Mom the morning after getting kicked out of my house. I am now at annother friends house.
    (.......The Shame I felt by getting caught by her wasso strong i wanted to murder her or somebody, it will always stay with me for ever in my life.......)

    I am in a huge fucking dilema and just dont know what to do, the world hates me and my honour is all lost. . . I have no where to go, no drugs, no money, no friends and so damn alone is Suicidal.

    So that is my crises, my life has collapsed in a matter of 48 hours and its all to blame on the *Doomed-Magical world of Opiates*. Support in my real life is just totally non fucking existent at the moment and suicide through 'Datura' or wrist slits sounds very tempting.

    AH!!! - Guilt is Horrible!!!!!
  2. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    guilt sucks but it is always forgivable just get a job and repay these people they will respect you more, real guilt comes when you do shit that you cant take back so try and get your life straight before you head down that path, just apologize to the mother and give the money back with a little extra maybe, and show her you really mean it if you really mean it, if she is a decent person she will forgive you, if you killed her son to get his lunch money she probably wouldnt forgive you
  3. black dove

    black dove Well-Known Member

    thats hideous that your father and friends mother treated you like that. if you have an addiction, you dont steal by choice. you dont HAVE a choice.

    because of your state, you need to see a doctor. someone that is going to help you overcome your addiction in small steps at a time. go to a hospital and ask for help and they should be able to direct you onto someone that knows how to deal with such addictions. then you'll go through a process of getting over it, which will take a great deal of time but will ultimately be the most liberating experience for you.

    best of luck mate, speak to you soon i hope.
  4. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    I dont agree with that, I think deep down people know right from wrong, people shouldnt be justified in their actions because of their addiction, I dont buy into that addiction is an illness crap, personally I think it is more of a weakness, it seems our society is more happy to give people with addictions 2nd and 3rd chances then to give people without addictions who have problems a 1st chance, for this reason alone I dont like people with addictions, we waste to much fucking mental health dollars on them

    and maybe I am bitter because I sought out help and there was no help to be had, yet if I was a junkie or a fucking alcoholic I would have all these social services at my feet

    addiction is not an illness it is a weakness
  5. black dove

    black dove Well-Known Member

    the point of this forum is to support people and help offer guidance that you think could help get them back on track.

    what have you got to offer? given the situation, what are his choices?

    and i dont know what you sought help for, i'm sorry you didn't get it, but that has nothing to do with addictions. it is a physiological response that occurs when the PHYSICAL body becomes reliant on substances and cant do without them. can you admit that people can be addicted to smoking?

    and you know, even if it is a weakness, it should still be helped? i think we are all here because we have some sort of weakness/ineptitude to deal with things.....or we would be out having a wild time.

    i'm really sorry that you can't offer something positive but either way, given the situation, what i said is what i think to be the best step to take from here.
  6. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    I only partially agree. I know that a person with an addiction may feel out of control, but the bottom line is that if I allowed someone to stay at my house and they stole from me for whatever reason, I don't think I would be a bad person for asking them to leave. I'm not saying that the same person does not deserve support and compassion, but am I supposed to just let them take and sell my belongings and hope that they don't do it again? Nope.

    That being said, addiction is a terrible thing and I think it's great that the O.P. is coming to terms with it. The key to kicking any addiction is the acknowledgement that one is addicted and the guilt that can come with it.

    Oriax, you are on the right track and you seem to be on the right path to healing yourself. It may be painful now, but just the fact that you realize that you have an addiction and that you are now feeling bad about the way that addiction has affected others is HUGE!!! You are well on your way to recovery. Don't give up!
  7. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    whatever, I dont find doing something that harms someone else an illness, such as stealing something or a drunk going out and killing 3 people in a car accident an illness, people need to take responsibilities for their action, maybe because I have been harmed by fucking junkies I have a less tolerance for them, but I think people need to take responsibility for themselves, maybe if you want to kill yourself and get a job and do it on your time it is ok, but more times then not other people are fucking hurt as a result of junkies actions and I am not one to fucking sympathize with that, believe me I sympathize with other things but not that
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