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happened to look in this secton & had a thought about me

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extraterrestrialone

stifled yet undaunted
SF Supporter
#1
this is a thought of a memory. i do not know what it means.

when i was nursery school age (before terminology such as pre k) my parents found one and sent me to it. there was some kind of problem and i hated the school. all i can remember actually was the talk of a teacher with a peculiar nick name that i (maybe) apparently gave her called “high stepping (something?)”. or it is possible that my parents gave her that name. as i recall it, it was necessary to get me out of that school. so they did. and sent me to another. my memories of blurriness tells me the other school was much better. or perhaaps i was told it was much better. i don’t know. i have a memory of the first school i think. it is of being in a circle holding hands doing a dance. my guess is that we were high stepping. who knows.

but i also have one memory of an interaction between me and i believe another student. i can’t think of any other memories at all beyond these. and i do not know which school this memory is from. (isn’t nursery age an age that memories actually stay with you and you can recall? wondering.) this one memory is as follows:
• we were making masks. my guess is that this was for halloween. i had made mine and i put it over my face and said something like boo. i honestly just dont know if i did that or if that is what i said. but if i did and said it that way, it was to or at someone else in the class. this act apparently frightened the other child and i got in some kind of trouble.

there is another way this story goes and i really don’t know which one is correct. here is it:
• we were making masks. my guess is that this was for halloween. everyone (probably) had made theirs - me too. many kids put the masks over their faces. another child came over to me with the mask on his face and said something like boo. could have been anything else scary too. i don’t know. all i can remember is having been terribly frightened by it. but i still remember having gotten in trouble for it.

i dont understand this. it has puzzled me all my life. what i can make of it is the possibility that neither story happened at all. maybe i thought about it and was considering both to myself sitting there with my mask. but i am sure i got in trouble for it regardless. i think it was of little interest to anyone. the high stepping lady was the only story to linger at home and that was because i had presented myself in life as a problem child.

what do i want from this story? as many comments as i can get. that’s what. i just want other points of view. maybe so i can forget those too. maybe so something will stab me in my heart. or maybe for another “ho hum, yeah i cant remember much about that!” i welcome all thoughts, ideas, condemnations, cheers and support.
 

Lara_C

Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#2
My memories of that age are very fuzzy and fragmentary. I do recall clearly being very afraid of my first teacher in infant school, but it was just due to her physical appearance and strict demeanour rather than any actual traumatic incidents. I still think of her as " Miss Witch with a stick " ( she was very old and had a walking stick)! I think children are often afraid of things which from an adult perspective are unfounded - monsters and so on, so I don't think this fragment of a memory you have is necessarily significant, although some children are more sensitive than others and more easily upset. Maybe your parents just felt a different teacher would be more suitable for you.
 
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extraterrestrialone

stifled yet undaunted
SF Supporter
#4
Masks figure prominently in your post. Is there anything in your life these days that resonates with masks?
hmmmm, at about 18, 17 or 16 or maybe no more than 20, i had a dream that i remember telling my family at the dinner table. in that case it could also have been a saturday or sunday breakfast (unusual). the dream was the question being asked, “what mask (or costume ?) did you put on today?” that actually would cover a great deal more than the above mentioned incident. but i think that is the extent. and that was when i was quite a bit younger than now, but imo, i dissociated so much in my life that then may be much the same as now. for now, i would say i wear no mask because not knowing who or what i am, hiding behind one would be more self hurtful, unnecessary and maybe it just does not occur to me to be masked or maybe the idk is the mask?
 

extraterrestrialone

stifled yet undaunted
SF Supporter
#5
My memories of that age are very fuzzy and fragmentary. I do recall clearly being very afraid of my first teacher in infant school, but it was just due to her physical appearance and strict demeanour rather than any actual traumatic incidents. I still think of her as " Miss Witch with a stick " ( she was very old and had a walking stick)! I think children are often afraid of things which from an adult perspective are unfounded - monsters and so on, so I don't think this fragment of a memory you have is necessarily significant, although some children are more sensitive than others and more easily upset. Maybe your parents just felt a different teacher would be more suitable for you.
ah ha, i was wondering if the thought of being a bully or being bullied would come up. because i always wondered about that in particular. the me scaring the other guy scenario which actually seems dominant does not strike me as being me. so i wondered what was that story all about?
 

Walker

Admin-a-monkey
Staff member
ADMIN
SF Social Media
SF Supporter
#7
I don't remember much of anything from that age. Only a fragmented few blurry memories here and there - a couple from school, a couple from home.
My wife remembers loads from this time period but I find that really strange. I've never met anyone who remembers that much from that age.
How masks figure in to all of your memories, I don't know. But then again, why dig into it? So you made masks in school and may or may not have gotten into 60 seconds worth of "trouble" for it when you were 3. Is it a big deal now? It's not something that affects you at this point in life. It's just a memory out there floating around, right?
 

extraterrestrialone

stifled yet undaunted
SF Supporter
#8
I don't remember much of anything from that age. Only a fragmented few blurry memories here and there - a couple from school, a couple from home.
My wife remembers loads from this time period but I find that really strange. I've never met anyone who remembers that much from that age.
How masks figure in to all of your memories, I don't know. But then again, why dig into it? So you made masks in school and may or may not have gotten into 60 seconds worth of "trouble" for it when you were 3. Is it a big deal now? It's not something that affects you at this point in life. It's just a memory out there floating around, right?
right? well, no maybe. i wonder. i do agree maybe unnecessarily. i wonder about this because of a bad diagnosis. and it pops into my mind everynow and then. wonder if i had bully tendencies and then self-stopped it. lots of wondering. i also think i may still be stuck back then in some ways.
 
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